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Saturday, December 29, 2007

year 2007

as i mentioned to a friend, in comparison to the past 2 years, this year is less eventful. no big changes or terrible national exams. but a year well-lived still requires reflections and thankgiving to the One who sustains all things.

-studies-
not much change in this area - study, do projects, make new friends and take exams. but geog has allowed me to have an appreciation for the Creator. i didnt do well for that particular physical geog module but studying [or trying to study] it makes me think God is a geographer. bio this sem too makes me think He is at the same time a biologist. i guess He is really all things:)

the year hasnt been easygoing but God really brought me through it without anything more than a scratch. i thank Him for his presence and the providence of timely friends along the way. things i really need to work on include cultivating discipline and not settling for anything less then the best. i have slackened on the second one especially in the semester that just ended.

-church/ministry/general christian activities-
i somewhat started becoming a sunday school teacher [on-the-job training] this year at around feb. it is really challenging and i struggle with feelings of inadequency all the time. and at the same time, the whole "not doing my best" to prepare for lessons' temptation is there. i have learnt alot from the past year and it has to be credited to sharon and eugene for being very good 'mentors' with an infinite amount of patience [esp sharon:)] i couldnt have had better people to learn from. im still a work-in-progress in this area and its my prayer that God would continue to refine me more.

tuition programme was pretty great this year:) i really enjoyed myself with the kids. although i know the are so not scared of me lah. watching the class over the past 2 years has been very encouraging esp when the shy kids make friends and all that. but its a heavy commitment so it has to be sacrificed for the coming year. i'll miss teaching and interacting with them.

i started g3 when the current academic year began. its a missions training and exposure programme that FES [parent body of vcf] runs. phase 1 was pretty ok and i especially enjoyed the mauritian pastor's talk abt mauritus. its really unfortunate that g3 wont be able to conduct the exposure trip there. and perhaps the best thing that came out of phase 1 was that i got to know stella [agnes' mauritian friend from uk]. thus far we are trying to keep up a facebook/blog reading thing and i really hope it lasts. did g3 make me more 'missions-minded'? i cant say it yet but it has certainly made me very much more aware about a lot of things.

-friends/people in my life-
the 'gang of 4' is still pretty much thriving:) and for that i really thank God. long phone conversations, jap food sessions, [window] shopping outings, fellow blog tracking and so on are quite naturalised already. we have our differences/quirks-that-irritate but perhaps the beauty of it is that we still can get along well:)

in the last month especially i have gotten-ed to know alot more vcfers with the anntic camp and prc camp. thank God for that:) at least fts and combined stuff wont be so weird now. i still struggle with forming good [as in not superficial] friendships with some people i am supposed to know better but we shall see. my best new friend of 2007 hails from vcf too though [we are more complexly linked actually:)]

i have realised that im not really good at keeping friends. i can make good project group friends [jokes/great project sessions and all that jazz] for a semester and later cannot sustain it through the next semester. i also do not make new friends very easily. it bugs me because i dun think its healthy. i guess its mostly myself to blame because i hate talking "for the sake of it" - a little strange behaviour for a person who likes talking. but at the same time i wonder if i need to change all that just to make more friends? its somewhat an issue i have been struggling a little with.

-self-
i think i have grown in my own way this year. a certain very bad habit has been conquered [thus far] and i continue to rely on God's strength for it. on the whole, age coupled with self awareness has been making me more self-intrusive - a skill which i see merit in. but at the same time, i realise my usual optimism for life in general has been diminishing, a change which i dun think good. i know that surviving the entire year has been nothing short of God's endless grace and im humbled by His love. God indeed continues to be very faithful and i can only pray that i would be faithful to Him and His work too.

-in conclusion-
i thank God:)

*this year's reflections are out slightly earlier [and a little more hastily done] because i have a church youth chalet from the 30th till the 1st.

11:24 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, December 28, 2007

PRC camp

a whole day in direct blazing sunlight = sun burn
reddened face and arms plus seriously tan-lined feet

it was pretty fun:)
my fellow group leaders were great and SK was our lifesaver
the PRCs were nice and friendly too
i think what worked was the extension of grace by both groups
one would assume that we are the ones "sacrificing" to help them
but seriously, they were very gracious in accepting our bad chinese
and well..we just have/had fun together:)

honestly before the camp i wondered how much 2 days would help
as in not much english would be spoken, not much stories told
and i was reminded of the avenue that vcf has for 'follow-up'
well..i'll see about joining that but next year promises to be very busy

11:56 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

down the stairway of stars

down the stairway of stars to be born in a stall
Christ came down from heaven giving up all
leaving the palace of glory above
He came to redeem our souls to love

from the scepture of power, from the bright angel band
from the crown lined with stars, from the throne of that land
leaving these riches at infinite cost
Christ, our redeemer seeking the lost

up the Calvary road Jesus walked all alone
He suffered and died our sins to atone
then He rose from the tomb and He lived ever more
He conquered our foe to open life's door

from the gloom and despair, from the scorn of that hour
from the bondage of death, from the thrall of sin's power
your soul to free from sin's prison bars
Jesus came down the stairway of stars
-end-

with my sister's post as a catalyst, this is one of my favourite christmas songs/carols. it is part of a musical [Colours of Christmas] that the children's choir did. i think it was our swan song too cos after that many of us left and the choir disbanded due to certain circumstances. i miss it.

i spend christmas in church for morning service. lunched with the family at sushi tei. shopped [and spent a lot of money] in vivocity with agnes in the afternoon. it felt like a normal day although most places were more crowded than usual. i wonder if its cos im older and so excitment eludes after a while or that i've been so hardened to enjoy and anticipate it. i remember that as a little kid i would love the christmas season/period. where did all that go? im troubled and yet rather apathetic abt this realisation.

and it shouldnt be since it marks the day that Jesus came down the stairway of stars. imagery and well-placed words aside, christmas indeed is the day we celebrate the birth of the King who would one day conquer the foe to open life's door. and for that, we rejoice:)

10:44 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, December 24, 2007

Your glory veiled

its amazing that God came as a little baby
and in a manner that did not befit a king at all

i havent been feeling christmas-cy thus far
its def not good to be caught up in the festivities at all
but i think that a certain expectancy should be there

blessed christmas one and all:)

12:39 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, December 21, 2007

do not try this at home

i fried my elder sister's tv today!

i was watching grey's anatomy for abt an hour plus..
when this weird hissing sound started
and i was like"this doesnt sound like it's part of the show.."
then..smoke started billowing out of the tv
and it was still working!!

i was like "OH CR*P!!"
i switched everything off and opened the sliding door
but smoke travels so i ran around the house "on-ing" the fans
and left them on for quite a while
it smelled quite bad esp her room

it sure was scary
the house still smells a tinge weird
but i think agnes' room is safe already:)

9:09 PM
heaven in a wildflower


impatience

*roasting marshmallows after a bbq. the kids had no patience to wait

agnes: ok..we'll all count to 100 ok. 1...2...3...4...
11yr old cousin: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10....[very quickly said]
7yr old cousin: [as agnes counts to 4] 89...102...

12:37 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

a slacker's life

grey's anatomy dvds.

i am amazed at the stamina i have when it comes to watching them
which helps to partially explain why im not blogging as much
but the show..is good, really good stuff:)

10:04 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, December 15, 2007

and im back...

with a mini out-break on my face, some nasty looking insect bites on my arms, a terrible sleep debt, new depth of affections for my bed and toilet [toilet bowl included], new friends, alot of new knowledge, new awareness and a new desire to have a tender heart.

i went for AnnTIC [vcf's annual teach-in camp] with some apprehensions. i do know enough vcfers but im not close to nearly all of those who were going. i dun need lots of friends to get by but of course the possibility of feeling a little lonely is kinda sad lah. but thank God that my group leader was a friend-of-a-friend:) but i was excited abt what i could learn during the camp seeing that many people have told me good things regarding it. in a certain sense, i have felt myself lacking in this area for a while.

and im back feeling rather tired but full of lessons/thoughts/challenges. and full of thanksgiving

-the Word-
the teaching was really intensive but great. we did an expository study of the book of Amos and i attended the IBS [inductive bible study] on the epistles where we focused on Philippians. plus i signed up for 2 workshops - intellectual property and emotions in christianity.

1. Amos Study: the speaker was very good. It was a super detailed study of the book and all the prophecies and judgements inside. the 5 theme talks really brought home the need for christians to stand for social justice and reject complacency. personally for myself, i guess studying geography exposes me to quite alot of social issues and im now convicted that i need to do something about this knowledge. what specifically im not sure yet, but i'll think of something practical.

2. IBS sessions: it was nearly ibs overload with 4 3-hour long sessions. we covered 2 chapters only but it was very insightful. hard work though cos the approach is rather tedious but i guess the trainers had to drill all that into us. my small group was pretty good too:)

3. workshops: i really enjoyed them and left with more questions for myself at the end of both. i went for both workshops for very different reasons and i guess by and large im satisifed with the material shared by the facilitators. IP workshop was really funny cos of all the erm..funny people who were inside:) the emotions one really made me think about alot of issues regarding myself. perhaps more on this next time.

-the fellowship-
i had a wonderful group and its really God's hand that put us together. i enjoyed my group and i think we had very fruitful sharing/reflections sessions. as a group we had a really strong sense of place [we sat at the same table for EVERY meal] and a healthy sense of humour. i guess what helped was that everyone was pretty open while sharing. i really pray that we can keep these friendships. really thank God for S who was a good group leader and N for performing the job of a BSL [bible study leader] very well:)

the group members:)

J: a really nice friend i know from before but we aren't close. on the 3rd day we had an hour of Silence and Solitude; first a personal time then a "senior" had to look for a "junior" to pray with. J asked if i wanted to do it with her and so we went behind the staircase and sat there - in full view of everyone actually but o well..heh. we ended up talking for a really long time about a lot of things before praying. we didnt really manage to talk much more during the rest of the camp but that was a nice time.

HM: my group member. i never knew her before the camp but well she is friendly and has a good load of wisdom. we didnt really talk lots during the camp cos everyone has other people to talk to i guess. we were supposed to talk on the last night but due to some bad luck it didnt materialise. but we made it up on the last day when we really talked [as in shared] on the bus ride back and for all of lunch plus 2 rounds around causeway point. i think we amazed each other at what we talked about.

E: she is the staffworker from ntu's cf. usually speakers/staff workers/workshop speakers "float" around the group for meals and reflections but our group "adopted" her into our group. so she joined us for everything. she is an interesting character who brought much adult insights into the discussion. and she really has a heart for young people - stayed up to 2 plus counselling one of my group members who had some issues.

-random things that are worth remembering-
the nice 10 course dinner on the last night that materialised because of an extremely frugal camp treasurer. the ramly burgers that L went out to buy for the entire camp [100+ people] the super fast baths i took cos i didnt like the toilets. the ultimate frisbee session in which so many of us skidded and fell cos of the mud. the rain and cool/cold weather. the exco-time sessions, one of which had vcf put through a mock trial [a sobering experience]. the crossing of the causeway a la bus 170 style WITH our heavy bags. the dinning "shed" where we had our meals and discussions/reflections. our group's unstereotypical med student.

i really enjoyed anntic. im no social butterfly so i cant say i made alot of friends but i did make good ones. i really hope that we can somehow continue the friendships but i know its really hard. the preaching and teachings really was good and challenging. by God's grace i'll go again next year:)


4:37 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, December 09, 2007

away

in vcf anntic camp from tmr till saturday [10th to 15th]
it sounds so long..
but i'll make the best of it:)

11:44 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, December 08, 2007

post-exams

met stella and a couple of agnes' other friends for dinner on thursday
[i got to befriend stella cos of g3]
it was a little wierd cos i coulcnt really join in their conversations
but they were all nice people
and stella is really sweet:) with a french accent to boot:)

dragonboating with the vcfers today
one of the rare activites i join but it was enjoyable:)
was on a kayak with dennis before switching to the dragonboat
probably going to have a sore right arm tmr but o well..
at least i can now say i have dragonboated before:)

*have more excitement actually but blogger isnt working too well


8:38 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Thursday, December 06, 2007

year 2 sem 1

ended as of today after the bio paper:)
strangely enough i dun feel the usual strong sense of relief
im glad its all over though

i realised i didnt talk much abt this sem as compared to the last two
maybe cos uni isnt much of a new experience anymore?
but i really thank God for the new friends this sem
and He has been very good:)

4:00 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, December 03, 2007

funny niece

remember little G from here

had family gathering at my home. dad's side of the grapevine
and i acquired a new little story:)

*sitting at the table with big G [10 years old] and little G [8 years]. chatting with them, little G telling me excitedly about her "lost" toothbrush.

their grandma: En-en, you want some more food?
big G: no need..
me: hmm..why does your ah-ma call her En-en [from her chinese name, whats new right?] and you are called G*****?
little G: of course lah! what..call me Xin xin? im not a gorilla!!.

4:53 PM
heaven in a wildflower