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Thursday, March 30, 2006

and you thought all they did was teach


the peripheries of teaching is almost a part time job!
by peripheries, they are..the admin duties and such


had to deal with a rather large problem today..
my class had a 'domestic' squabble of some sort
and it was getting kinda ugly and mean
was the one who dealt with the whole thing
from a outsider's point of view in a way
and a erm..more mature one too:)
its tiring you know..


facing the girls can be terrifying
knowing that there is a chance that they would not like you
that they can make things difficult for you..


but there is also a kind of joy and fulfilment
seeing the girls learn, sometimes with lots of noise
having fun with them, knowing them as individuals
[this sounds a little wrong] knowing they like you


i do like this job:)

5:43 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, March 25, 2006

faith the size of a mustard seed


-By faith-
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.


By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.


By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.


By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.


By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.


By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.


All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.


By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.


By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.


By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.


By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.


By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.


By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.


By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.


By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.


By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.


And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.


These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
[Hebrews 11]


they truely are the ancient heros of our faith
pitting their lives against the world, they chose the Lord's way


noah who built an ark although he never knew what rain and flood were
abraham who willingly sacrificed his only son back to God
the thick walls of jericho brought down by israel's faith[and lots of walking]


why did they possess such fervent faith?
were they any different from us now?
can we claim to have the same depth of faith as they did?
was God more real to them then?
were there are many 'distractions' then as we have now?


faith or faithfulness is not an abstract concept
nor an airy-fairy theory propounded by some people
we practise it all the time, like it or not, knowingly or unknowingly


we believe that we would be able to wake up each morning
we have faith that life will be as peaceful as it always is/was
that the sun would shine, that the air we need would be there
its the same with God, the christian religion, the faith...


its belief in the things that are perhaps unseen
the things that sometimes cannot be proven nor verified
things sometimes goes against the natural order of things
but..they cannot be discounted, ignored or disregarded
you may know in your heart that they cant


faith need not be in large amounts
roomfuls, truckloads or cardboard boxes of them
yet..its the sincerity and obedience that matters so much
all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed
a seed so small that it often goes unnoticed among the rest
but the tree that grows out of it is one of the largest around


we often are faithless, skeptical and cynical
we often are wilful, disobedient and self absorbed
but through it all..our God is ever so faithful:)


-YOU ARE SO FAITHFUL-


Like the sun that rises every day,
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful.
Like the rain that You send,
And every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord.


Like the rose that comes alive every spring,
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful.
Like the life that You give,
To every beat of my heart,
You are so faithful, Lord.


I see the cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away.


And in the midst of a storm,
Through the winds and the waves,
You' ll still be faithful, You 'll still be faithful,
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,
You' ll still be faithful, You' ll still be faithful, Lord.


* i ask for enough faith, ever if it were as small as a mustard seed

10:04 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, March 24, 2006

sports day commentary


a day of 2 first[s]
-first time i went in the capacity of a teacher
-first time i actually participated in it!


run in the teachers' race
only 90m lah
but my team came in 3rd place!
thats out of 8 teams by the way
got a prize for that
literally my first one in like..forever:)


the primary school girls really love their houses
they were cheering their lungs out
as long as the name is said
they would start yelling, jumping...
wonder where the pride goes to when they are older


my cousin's team came in first!
she is from chew and me from dodsworth
so abit of conflict of interest right?
but during her race, i was really hoping that she would win..
who cares if chew house got the points
she's my cousin afterall:)


see something that made me rethink sportsmanship
its not only about losing well
or being a good team player
its also willingly giving your friend help to win


3 girls in sec 2 were disqualified from their race
reason: they linked hands and ran together at the last part
they were form 2 different houses and 3 different classes
they were actually the first 3 to cross
by right, they should be the winners of the race
i believe they were disappointed
yet..this episode probably taught them a little lesson
its knowing that your friends are there for you that matters


had free flow of milo today
one advantage of being a teacher:)
the milo truck actually ran out of milo today!


being a form teacher is erm..rather tough
had to take attendance today
and the girls were not really cooperating
i had to use my 'np voice' on them [as lindsay calls it]
which means i was very very loud


o well..its all in a day's work isnt it?

3:41 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Thursday, March 23, 2006

blog overload


think everyone in my form class has one!
never realised that blogging was so BIG
brought them to the com lab for pw
and most of the pages on their screens were blog-related
hmmph


brings me back to the age-old question
"why do we/i blog?"


because everyone else is doing it?
because we really have opinions inportant enough?
because we write well?
because the whole concept of it is interesting?
because people get to see us in a different light?
because we want to evangelise?
because we need to vent our anger?
the list goes on..


not that im saying that their blogs are meaningless
i believe that blogs are good in many ways
but..i really wonder sometimes
even for myself


in any case..
the girls have been bugging me for my blog add
planning to not give it to them till i leave

1:54 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, March 19, 2006

and its back to school...


it has been a rather good break
and its time to start again


the next term will be the true guage of my competance as a teacher, a relief teacher no doubt. the 10 weeks will indeed be the closest i can get to the whole teaching experience. its a daunting task - having to learn all the names, and the various faces, to know each girl as an individual[as much as possible], to prepare good lessons, to complete marking on time, to fulfil shared form teacher duties reasonably well, to maintain classroom discipline... i am feeling a little inadequate


i dunno if i can handle all that
i cant promise no mistakes
but the least is to try my best
i hope it will be enough


1st on the list:
to learn to get used with waking up early again

9:44 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, March 18, 2006

occupational hazard


hmm..going out is very dangerous now
i ALWAYS get recognised!


first was that day in sentosa
i was dressed in fbts and a ratty tee[it rhymes!]
and i got spotted by a girl


just yesterday..
when i was at j8 with esther
stopping by coffeebean at a moment of impulse
i got greeted by another girl


both times..
i couldnt even recognise them!
o help


if any of my students somehow get here..
its not that i am 'dao'
but i really have too many faces to remember

8:15 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

kids are expensive


just blew $220 on new specs today!
or rather..my mom did
cos of my rather bad eyesight
i need the whole package of everything..
the multi-coated and high index lenses
sigh..


but i wore the last pair for about 4 years
so if you divide the price over that amount of time
its not so bad isnt it?
i will take gooood care of my glasses:)


and the question of the day..
how do you give a $33 buffet a run for their money?
as in..what do you eat?
that still puzzles me..

11:17 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

blogsurfing rules


never underestimate the power of blogsurfing:)


after a whole roundabout networking episode
i found the class blog of a class i teach
and tagged on the tagboard..
giving them a/THE shock of their lives:)
muahahaha


i just feel so evil:)


but a girl from that class found mine too..
so i guess we are even:)

10:28 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, March 13, 2006

God is Love, God is God
balancing complexity and simplicity in the bible


*had this for QT one day. felt that it was something very applicable to many of us. reproducing it word-for-word here.


One could easily dwell too long on the hard things of the bible. they are there. peter tells us so. he says in paul's letters "are some things hard to understand"[2 peter 3:16]. some people are wired to see them. others are wired to avoid them. the bible is made for both types. how shall we see it in a balance way that honors both?


perhaps it would help to do it like this. consider that "God is Love," as it says in 1 john 4:8, and that God is God, as it says in isaiah 46:9, "I am God and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like me." the truth that God is God implies that God is who he is in all his glorious attributes and self-sufficiency. but the truth that God is love implies that all of this glory is moving our way for our everlasting enjoyment.


now, the two truths unleash very different impulses through the bible. and we will see that a balance is introduced here lest we make christianity an elitist affair, which definitely is not.


that God is love unleashes the impulse of simplicity, and that God is God unleashes the impulse of complexity.


that God is love unleashes the impulse of accessibility, and that God is God unleashes the impulse of profundity.


that God is love encourages a focus on the basics, and that God is God encourages a focus on comprehensiveness. one says, "believe in Lord Jesus and you will be saved"[acts 16:3]. the other says, "i did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God"[acts 20:27, RSV]


that God is love impels us to be sure that the truth gets to all people, and that God is God impels us to be sure that what gets to all people is the truth.


that God is love unleashes that impulse towards fellowship, and that God is God unleashes the impulse towards scholarship.


that God is love tends to create extroverts and evangelists, and that God is God tends to create introverts and mystics.


that God is love helps foster a folk ethos, and that God is God helps foster a fine ethos.


one ethos revels in the intimacy of God and sings softly,


i love you, Lord
and for you i wait:
your promises
and your power are great.
make haste, my God
may i taste your ways
i will magnify your sweet peace
all of my days
[John Piper]


and the other ethos revels in the transcendent majesty of God and sings with profound exultation.


far, far above thy thought
His counsel shall appear
when fully He the work hath wrought
that caused thy needless fear
leave to his sovereign will
to choose and to command
with wonder filled, thou then shalt on
how wise, how strong His hand
[Give to the winds thy fears, Pual Gerhardt, 1653]


if any of you is saying to yourself, "i don't like this seperation between God is love and God is God, between folk and fine, evangelists and mystics, fellowship and scholarship, accessibilty and profundity, simplicity and complexity"- GOOD! because in my mind, every one of these things is precious, and both sides of all these pairs are indispensable in the ministry and mission of Christ in the world. so my prayer is this. for believers, i pray that, seeing these different impulses in Christianity, you will embrace both of them. if you lean towards one side[as we all do], that you will be respectful and affirming to those toward the other side. and that you will cherish the fuller manifestation of God in his church and in the world. and for those who may be reading this without love to Christ in your heart, my prayer is that what you have seen will remove some caricatures or stereotypes of Christianity and the Bible- and open the way for you to see all that God is for you in Christ, so that you freely believe on him.


Taste and See: Savouring the Supremacy of God in All of Life - John Piper

10:14 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, March 10, 2006

a week into the job


things i have learnt
-skirts everyday are not so bad after all
-high heels are a bigger problem
-my mom's cousin kinda recognises me
-its weird working alongside teachers who taught you
-never judge a girl by her appearence[its so true!]
-pl girls never change at all
-the rundown building does have a certain charm to it
-staff room = gossip haven


the past week has been eventful. switching over from a very manual job to one that requires alot of 'brain power'. getting used to the demands of full time teaching, esp since i was effectively thrown into the deep end.
i have learnt much, learnt the fundemental ropes of the profession and know that there is still lots more to learn. i know i am still a greenhorn in many areas, but there is always time right?


one pressing issue to reinforce went the term next begins - classroom discipline. am going to put my foot down and show the kids the power of 4 years of npcc training:) muahahaha

10:21 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

just a little whining


my leg muscles ache like anything now!
like every muscle you need to use


sigh..
was roped in to run for the 'house' yesterday
a 2.4km run!
after ZERO exercise the past 6 months
needless to say i was in hardly any shape to run well
dun ask for the timing..its embarrassing
but..i finished the run:)


but..the girls who were there earlier for sports heats
they were so sweet:)
cheering their lungs out for us huffing and puffing away
they even ran alongside some teachers!


at least its gotten over and done with
another group going tmr..heh

11:06 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, March 06, 2006

hmm..


its really really weird
but i am really free in school
minus the time spent in class
i dun really have very much to do
its actually quite disconcerting you know?


what does that mean..
its time to give homework!
[evil laugh]

8:21 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, March 04, 2006

the long and short of it


*how yesterday went:)


~530am
woke up at this unearthly hour
sturggled to wake up would be more correct


-620am
left the house
dad dropped me off at serangoon interchange
took bus 315 to pl


-7am
followed behind the pl girls into school
went to the general office to 'register'
met some of the other relief teachers
went to my table in the staffroom
stared at the piles of stuff that the teacher had prepared
talked to various 'important' teachers


-720am
assembly
introduced to the whole school
officially known as "ms lim" now


-750am to 145pm
bumming around in the staffroom
classes started at 905
did a self introduction like 8616574 times
[was about 4 times actually..heh]
had 'fun' with the girls
they asked 67863491 questions!
guess they warmed up to me pretty quickly:)
but still have to ensure that i maintain their respect


-230pm
left after a day's work
cabbed home cos of very painful feet!


-in between:)
many 'good morning teacher' s
bumped into church people here and there
caused gloria to 'explode' with horror:)
must remind them that 'jane' is taboo in school
talked/chatted with my ex-teachers
looked through the prepared lesson plans and stuff
got 'pang seh-ed' by erica


so yeah..interesting or not?
heh

9:49 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, March 03, 2006

thrown into the deep end


started teaching today!
and i was wonderfully surprised:)


in all honesty and goodwill
the girls were much better than i thought!
i truely enjoyed interacting with them
[maybe i just havent seen the 'bad' side of them huh?]


the teachers were nice esp those sitting around me
many who once taught me[i was a little 'eeks' at first]
the little conversations meant alot to me i guess:)


and the world is smaller than you think..
to think that i met ex-nyjcians in pl!


*this post was like written in 5 mins. a more in-depth exposition of today would come later:)

5:41 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

D-day


im ok i guess
hoped for better results actually
but is rather satisfied with this


anyway..it was the climax of the 2 years. the dreaded yet eagerly anticipated day. the day we all worked towards.


saw many faces today. faces that had happiness written all over. faces that were scrunched up in tears. faces that carried the same expression as the past 2 years. faces that were impossible to decipher.


we all have different ways of dealing with things. things warrented different ways of dealing with them.


some results were made known to all. some results were told to a select few. some results were carefully guarded behind locked lips.


the best 'advice/consolation' i heard today: the results are only a passport for another journey. you get to start all over again at the next stage - mrs ho


congrats to all who did well, whether you actually think so or not.


and thank you Lord.

10:07 PM
heaven in a wildflower