i am a flower quickly fading

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

best wishes

i would wish you joy and peace
to last your whole life long
i would wish you sunshine
or a cheerful little song
wish you all the happiness
that this life could bring
but i wish you Jesus
more than anything
cos' when i've wished you Jesus
i've wished you everything

met up with sher today [like finally]
and they are flying back today..and reaching 3 days later!
simple lunch of macs and chatting
and its till 2 years later again

so yup..best wishes:)

4:35 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, January 29, 2007

new age buses

i took 153 today
on the outside it was a usual non-descript bus
i flagged it down
got out my card and got on

inside was a really different thing altogether
the seats, instead of the usual pairs, were just like mrt seats
as in they line the long walls of the bus
plus they have been upholstered in white instead of the usual green or something
and there are different kinds of seats like psuedo bartop ones
there is a certain swanky and plush look to it
and they are pretty comfortable:)

but its so impractical i think
the seating capacity must have been reduced to a third or something
during the peak period time people are going to get really irritated abt the lack of room
and i mean..its public transport..dun need to be that wonderful right?

so its all nice and good but too impractical for my liking
i did enjoy my ride today but i do not fancy trying to squeeze my way onto it

in something totally unrelated
found this quiz while blogsurfing though a couple of good blogs i read
and im not as good as it seems
the questions were super duper easy and the possible answers were like duh
but anyhow..pretty happy abt it:)

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

9:01 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, January 27, 2007

its the little things

just realised how sweet one of my tuition boys was

i was helping another class last week
but at the end of everything i went to the carpark area to get a drink
having bought it and heading back upstairs
i saw that boy who looked mildly frantic
him: "AHH jane..i was looking for you!"
me: "oh really ah..for what?"
him: *looking slightly sheepish* "erm..i want to thank you for the birthday card last year"
*the tuition prog sends a bday card to the kids and we teachers would write inside
me: "oh..okie:) so you liked it lah"

today i found out he came last week specially to thank us!
i mean..how nice is that!?
he withdrew from the programme this year
miss having him in the class
he isnt very strong in his work but he is a pretty cute little boy
who tries to crack funny jokes [not the rude/irritating kind] sometimes
rather polite and friendly too:)

its the little things that makes you want to continue

10:28 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, January 26, 2007

the irony of it all

setting: SEA tutorial class

my tutor is french canadian
he's a pretty nice and funny guy
just that he isnt really in the know of life in singapore or SEA
wonder how he is really going to teach the tutorials
good thing the class has taken to him quite well

we had a round of self introductions
and one point was to tell the class what was the reason you took SEA
all of us mumbled a variation of "cos of the uni's requirement [duh!]"
from what i have heard from friends, this is pretty much the standard reply

then it was the german girl's turn to introduce herself
and she is taking the course not cos she has too
and neither cos she just thinks its interesting
she is majoring in SEA studies back in germany!
the irony of it all huh

5:46 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, January 21, 2007

fears

* in no order of level of fearfulness

- getting swell-ly eyes. its seriously no joke when it happens. so i have been really paranoid abt eating new meds/food. i'll gingerly eat a pill/piece, wait an hour or so before deciding can take it safely in future. and if something causes me to show the slightest sign of swelling/ itchy eyes i can never eat that for forever.

- decaying teeth. i never had a cavity in my life [and intend to keep it this way] but the picture the dental nurse in primary school used to show really scared me. there was this one particular photo that stood out [absolutely vile looking teeth] and since then i always made sure i brushed my teeth properly. the recent wisdom tooth episode sealed the fear.

- getting cancer/some dreadful illness or some major accident. i know it isnt a "sure die" thing but the thought is just frightening. plus i cannot take painkillers. this is probably a sign that i have been watching too much ER on the television.

- lizards crawling down me. it happened once when i was abt 7 or 8 and i think i screamed bloody murder then. their tiny claws send a disgusting sensation down your bare skin. plus that the stuff that mothers always say abt pests and the dirty and germs-breeding dustbins.

- flying in airplanes. simple reason - there is nothing between the plane and the ground-too-far-away if anything goes wrong. im not the kind who is too freaked out to let go of the arm rest at all but i hate the feeling of the plane rocking up there. i think i pray the hardest in the air. the recent uk trip was a pretty good example.

- things dropping and breaking. not afraid per se just dun like the high-pitched "piang" sound when it happens. when i was little and i knew something fell and was going to shatter, i'll immediately cover my ears with my hands and attempt to block out the noise.

- roller coasters. i dun relish the feeling of having left my heart and stomach on the tracks. when i was 9 [young and stupidly garang] i sat 2 roller coaster rides in the genting highlands. i never took another ride since then.

- losing my loved ones. i havent lost any close family member/friend thus far and i really do not want to. i have no idea was finality feels like.

and perhaps the greatest fear of all..

having God look at me and tell me He didnt know me at all even though i have been doing stuff in his name. [matt 7:21-23] a scene that has been drummed into my head during church sermons. its a very very scary thought and i shudder at the possibility of it. havent really figured out what is it to do for me to be sure, really sure.

11:07 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

she's my cousin mah:)

her mom: sam..why is the broccoli still in your rice?
*she stares at it for a moment
sam: the broccoli is having a meeting with the rice!

when i heard the recount from my aunt i was like..
since when my cousin so lame one
but..since she is only like 6 plus
it should be counted as clever/funny right?
and cos she's my cousin mah:)

10:55 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, January 14, 2007

when thunders roar

sometimes we need a typhoon to get us to pray
sometimes we need a typhoon to make us realise we care alot for our friends
sometimes we need a typhoon to make us admit we love our family members

there was the TEENS sharing today abt their various trips in dec
my brother was scheduled to share and he was preparing it the entire week
and he REFUSED to allow any of us to look at the script

many of the people who shared talked abt the typhoon that happened
from the cebu team teens, to the teachers, to the china team
all of them spoke of God's goodness and power
indeed it was a miracle
19 seats on a plane available last minute on an overbooked flight
thank God for paving the way

it was very moving hearing their testimonies
granted most were staring at their scripts only but they are still young
the experience taught them that God indeed listens to prayers
and for a bunch of city kids who never prayed for their/their friends' lives before
it definitely was a first time i think
as uncle yehudi said: you could hear the tears while they pleaded with God

my brother was the last to go up to speak
i was very nearly tired of waiting for it
but i think it was a very honest piece from him
sometimes im really amazed at what he is capable of
i mean..he is always still that childish, naughty little boy to me

so sometimes we really do need a typhoon huh

and on a totally unrelated note
i got a class tee from a class i taught in PL!
from 1b1 - the form class that i grew to like in the end
thanks a lot girls:)
the shirt is a tad big but i'll manage with it

10:46 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, January 12, 2007

best weight loss method

have a trouble-making wisdom tooth!

my wisdom teeth [both sides] have very occasionally caused a bit of problem for me
the gums would get a little swollen and extra sensitive
but it usually clears up in 2 to 3 days without me having to do anything to it
my lower right one has since grown out and been well-behaved

but this time..
my tooth, or rather my gum decided to wage an all-out war with me

-monday and tuesday
i could feel the gum around my lower left molar, facing the tongue, feeling abit tender
but it was barely noticeable so i didnt care too much abt it
all i thought of was that a swollen gum was going to come my way
which well..usually just meant some discomfort

-wednesday and thursday
the swelling got pretty bad, could tell there was alot of fluid trapped inside
and it got mighty painful
i couldnt eat properly cause chewing was quite terrible
so i ended up taking a very long time to eat and eating very little
i started thinking about visiting the dentist
but i kept procastinating, hoping things would improve

-friday
things still weren't better and so i finally decided to see the dentist
planned for either before or after school
i even thought of going to the dental clinic in the UHWC at nus
but according to the person i spoke to on the phone, it wasnt open yet
and..my gum started ozzing pus [all trapped in the gum pocket]
that got me really really freaked out
like really very extremely freaked out
although it relieved some of the pain
so going to the dentist was top piority now

but it was too late to be able to go before school
so had to settle for after school
had my lectures that day, met a friend for tea
took an obsence amount of time to finish my waffle
went to nuh to meet my younger sis to go home together
asked her, no forced her to go to the dentist with me

went to a dentist in bishan area
just did a walk-in
told the dentist the summarised version of the story
and she explained to me why such a horrible thing happened
[ask me if you want to know]
and apparently im one of the uncommon few whose jaw and teeth arent symmetrical
she cleaned the area up and poked around to check
and prescribed me some antibotics

in any case the only way to solve the problem is to remove the teeth
visits to the dentist to drain the pus/get medicine are only short-term solutions
the problem would keep reacurring
sigh..we'll have to see abt that
my parents say that if this happens again then i'll go to extract the offending teeth
its going to burn a hole in the pocket though

anyways..it really is a good way to lose weight
i lost at least 1 and a half kg just in 3 days or so
but its a very painful way
try at your own risk

10:43 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Thursday, January 11, 2007

till i find out for myself

-i can only imagine-

I can only imagine what it will be like,
when I walk by Your side…
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see,
when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing ‘Hallelujah!’? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes,
when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do,
is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing ‘Hallelujah!’? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah I can only imagine!

what a mindblowing thought

6:23 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

that snooze button

its got to be the most senseless invention in human history

you want to wake up early
so you set the alarm
it rings at the designated time the next morning [duh]
you decide its too early to get out of bed
so you press the snooze button
the alarm rings again abt 5 minutes later
you still decide its too early to get out of bed
and the cycle repeats itself 647836342781 times
till you are finally willing to leave the bed

since you were going to "wake up" perhaps 30 mins later
why dun you just set the clock for then?
and save the sanity of your roommate
who very unfortunately has to endure the ringing every 5 mins
some people do want their sleep as much as you do

personal grievances aside, someone please tell me the use of the snooze button. there must be a good and compelling reason for you [general usage of the word, no specific person] to have had set the clock to ring at a certain time, so honour the time you have set to wake up. by hitting on the snooze button repeatedly, are you not making a mockery of the original intention to wake up "earlier".

so what has the snooze button become? an excuse to wake up late "cos i wanted to press the snooze button but i pressed the off button by mistake"? its my personal opinion but anyone who desires to be more disciplined for the new year should/must stop snoozing [pun intended] since what discipline is there in someone who cant make it a point to wake up once the alarm clock sounds? i guess this really is starting to sound jugdemental but seriously till anyone can enlighten me on a good reason for the snnoze button to exist, i shall continue to campaign for its removal from the face of this earth or something to that effect.

written by:
a person very tired of the snooze button

7:50 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

and its back to school again

timetable starts on monday now:(
with wednesdays and alternate thursdays free
a mid week break is not too bad too i guess

modules for the semester
GEK1012 - contemporary social issues of spore
SE1101E - SEA: a changing region
GE2218 - leisure, recreation and tourism
GE2225 - methods and practices in geography
GE2224 - geographies of social life

its going to be a very "writing and reading" sem
but then again..i guess all the following ones would be too
hope this 4 months would be as fun as the previous:)

7:04 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, January 07, 2007

how transcient

1. visit back to PL

my sis and i decided to visit PL on saturday evening. actually i found out we were going to PL only in the car but i wasnt going to miss a chance to take a look at the new and improved school. the plan was to drive past the school and peer in from the car but the gate was open so my dad drove in. esther and i then begged to be allowed to get down and walk around the school. my parents conceded after a little while and we very nearly jumped out of the car.

we walked in, through the opening that contained the well, now there with a stark whitewashed background instead of the beautiful mural of a garden path in the past. we then peeked into the uniquely PL toilets that had more self painted murals in them. those murals have been sliced into half by the errection of a new wall. what a pity that all those painstakingly painted walls were so easily defaced.

we followed the corridor, to the red brick area which remained largely unchanged though the bricks have lost some of the redness. the space also had a newly included pond and garden. we trooped on to ebeneezer [correct spelling?] block which contained both our last-used classrooms, realised that the tiny room that the bookshop operated in was gone and so was the staircase. too many things have changed, i was in a place familiar yet it wasnt.

we climbed up a newly constructed flight of steps and continue exploring, following the path of the corridors. we walked on, past the HOD room, the staff lounge, the staff room. rooms once so easily located were shifted and rebuilt accquiring a foreign feel. we moved on to the school hall now renamed as the multi purposed hall. even the direction of the stage changed. it smelled really unused with a nice woody scent.

we went up another flight of steps into a large open air space. we found the roof-top basketball court and the gate which connected both plmgs[es] together. we went down to a very unfamiliar canteen. the final stop was a place where both of us had our fair share of memories - the rifle range which was converted into a hall during our sec school years. it was changed again into 2 new rooms. bethel block which housed our D and T workshops was demolished. a building that was built with the money of so many PL-lites, removed so easily.

we finally finished. it was good walking through, recognising the things that remained unchanged. yet there was the sense that i didnt really belong here anyone, or rather the place didnt belong to me anymore. the place was changed too much. it wasnt simply a fresh coat of paint, it was remodelling, removing, rebuilding. my memories of PL were etched in the old school. i think they did a good job with the rebuilding but i cant love the new building yet. im attached to the old school i admit. even esther admitted that contrary to what she was always saying, she was too.

but the physical building isnt all there is to a sense of place. im still looking forward to a proper visit back to see the people - ex-teachers, former collegues and perhaps even old students. im glad the people havent changed as much.

2. clearing the laptop of last sem's things

minor event of
opening the folders and deleting everything
renaming the folders to this sem's modules
opening the recycle bin and clearing it

an activity done in 5 mins
erased the contents amassed over 4 months

how transcient

4:07 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, January 05, 2007

random conversations

amazing how it starts
sad when it has to end

and whats even sadder
you know that its never going to happen again

*something i learnt at vcf arts retreat

7:52 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

busting the budget

went up to kl with the family from 31st dec till 2nd jan
yup..we spent the new year in malaysia

-31st dec sunday
went for church service in the morning as usual
our whole family left for malaysia at abt 945
reached my dad's office at around 1030
we hung around while he needed to settle some last minute work
went for lunch at at this coffeehouse at abt 1130
it was pretty nice [food and place] albeit expensive for jb standards
which i believe accounts for the very empty place
we set off for kl at 12 there abouts

stop at the ayer keroh rest stop for the traditional AnW food
and the usual walk through the sport shop located there
where we start to eye on stuff to buy on the return journey:)
reached kl at around 430 drove to the hotel [micasa all suites hotel]
finally checked it at close to 515 cos of a slightly inefficient receptionist
the room was good:)
we booked a 2 room suite and was it nice, very nice
not posh like the times square but it was nicely furnished, clean and homely
the only grouse is the rather small living room space

left the hotel to go to the kl chinatown
after consulting the hotel staff who cautioned us against driving there
cos they were very sure that there was going to be terrible jams
so we took the LRT which wasnt too bad
although the LRT authorities for some strange unexplainable reason
chose to switch off all the ticket machines on the eve of the new year
which meant extremely inefficient mannual ticket issuing THE WHOLE NIGHT!
give your machine a break yes but on the eve of a new year?!
obviously whoever who commissioned it didnt have a lot of foresight

had a yummilicious dinner at chinatown in this rather old shop
but the food was uber good:)
5 dishes and all were licked up clean
it was our most expensive meal at 87rm though
squeezing through chinatown requires alot of skill man
both the siblings wanted to look for shoes
so we visited every single shoe shop in the 2 streets!
i got really grumpy very soon cos it so stuffy and jam-packed inside
i didnt even bother looking for anything to buy..
it was just "lets get out ASAP!"
anyway..esther found a pair and my brother has feet too big for his own good

went back to the hotel in an LRT packed to the brim
washed up and played 'dai-di' for a while
all of us crashed into the [comfortable] beds at abt 10 plus
so much for waiting up for the new year
we were all in lalaland

-1st jan monday
woke up at abt 8 and had our complimentary breakfast at abt 830
the food was ok at best
our plan for the day was to conquer the midvalley megamall:)
we choose to go there because of me and my brother's praises of it
my dad asked for directions from the limo service people and off we went

reached midvalley at approx 1030
we parked the car and tried to walk as daintly as possible into the mall
there it was shop and shop and shop
it helped that most of the deals were steals [exchange rate plus m'sia sale]
really..we shopped till my dad's credit card company called to equire
they suspected someone stole my dad's card and was making wild purchases

we lunched at madam kwan's because i was gushing over the place
and yup..my family thinks its nice too:)
after that it was bowling in the lanes at midvalley
my brother and i won my dad and sister so they had to pay for dinner:)
i was above average compared to my usual standard for both games
and the brother was well..getting too good for comfort

after that it was more shopping for all of us
plus a little arcade-ing for the spawn of the lim couple
the total loot for the day..
dad: 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants from jusco
mum: 1 top from jusco
me: 3 tops [why pay more and F.O.S], 1 pair of socks bought for bowling and a nike bag:)
sis: 3 tops [ditto me], 1 jacket from zara, 1 hi-5 cd for NUH and alot of tissue from watsons
bro: a long sleeved shirt from topman [i chose it:)]
total cost: dad doesnt dare to count and is waiting for the bill next month
and the hunt for my brother's shoes still wasnt successful
after a relatively cheap dinner at the food court we headed back satisfied:)

and the highlight of the trip
we ordered room service!
our package for the room came with a 100rm food voucher
we could either spend it on the hotel's dining place or room service
and since it was the super-peak period, my parents figured it was a rip-off eating there
so it was room service:)
esther and i planned the menu to hit just over 100rm without looking to miserly
the excess was 5.80rm
esther calculated a menu that allowed for 3 sen extra only but my parents didnt allow that
the menu:
2 bottles carlberg
1 bread and butter pudding served with vanilla ice cream
1 apple crumble pie
6 piece chicken wings
double scoop ice cream [chocolate and mango]
i fruit punch

it was pretty fun doing it
from the planning to the ordering to the receiving to the eating
but room service is another rip-off
the food definitely wasnt worth 100rm although 5.80rm is a steal
and it was an experience lah:)

played mahjong after that
had alot of fun and a good dose of good luck:)
slept after that

-2nd jan tuesday
breakfast was the same as the day before
there was minimal changes in the menu seriously
we then headed back to the room for more mahjong till abt 1030
checked out at 11
piled everything into the car and left for home

my dad wanted to check out putrajaya
it the new administrative captial of kl for those who remember studying it
so we drove into it
it isnt a bad place although its "plan-ness" is super evident

drove back
stopped at ayer keroh again
had kfc this time and my brother FINALLY bought his shoes
from that sports shop
he was a very happy boy the rest of the trip
did 2 more stops during the drive
finally hit jb at 445
crossed the causeway only at around 7
my dad has never been in a worst jam before
there were like 34458973 spore cars returning and congesting the area
very heart attack inducing surviving the traffic nightmare there

had dinner before heading home
phew

it was a good trip. i guess it was just the spending of time together since we hardly do that in spore cos everyong is busy with their own lives.

blessed 2007 everyone
and to those who smsed the new year greetings..you sent them to kl
and i love you for doing that [knowingly or unknowingly]

10:40 PM
heaven in a wildflower