it is mine, MINE..it will never be yours

*warning..angsty post ahead
something which has been annoying me for quite a while

ok..i have a laptop right
and in a home when the desktop is serially and seriously cranky
a good working and fast laptop is very appealing

and before i start the ranting [at least my version of ranting]
i have to be brutally honest abt some stuff
i admit i have gotten pretty territorial over the laptop
everything in my head screams "ITS MINE!"
it makes sure i take very good care of it
but at the same time i get extremely protective

which explains why i go nuts each time a sibling of mine uses the laptop
i dont usually say it but inside i get all annoyed and grumpy
but i mean..if you want to use it..ASK nicely
cant stand it if he/she just uses it assuming that im ok with it
or rather despite knowing i dun take it very easily
plus all the random stuff they do like 'you tube-ing' and playing online games
cant explain why but i DON'T like it
and they would tell you i have a rule that i want no music kept in here
i guess i want it as exclusive to me as possible

i know its really unjustify-able but i cant help it
each time that sibling of mine uses the laptop..i go "ROAR"[inside]
if i really cannot stand it i'll be all cuastic and sarcastic abt it
saying stuff like "eh..the laptop not yours k"
i understand if you need it to print stuff and/or the desk top is being used
but im sorry, the "let me check my email k" is just crap
i never knew blogging was classified under emails
plus the fact that that reason is sometimes given multiple times in a day
just because the laptop is faster is no excuse to me
you want it fast..wait till you get your own

i know its not good to be so possessive
im trying to get this part of me changed
*repeating "use things and love people" to self
im faintly surprised that my attitude here is so terrible
i usually am not so 'attached' to my possessions
and the fact that i didnt pay for it!
my parents did..so technically it doesnt belong to me
im still in the process of attempting to 'change for the better'
but till then its "HANDS OFF!" unless you ask/tell me when possible
i believe it isnt too much to ask for
basic respect is required anytime and anywhere
including the home
-end of ranting-

why i chose to do this?
and risk sounding like a bratty kid who is too selfish for her own good
i have no idea
but it has been hard dealing with it silently in a way
i guess it sounds like im blowing things out of proportion
but its a big deal to me now
and add on the fact that confronting the sibling hasnt yielded much results
that sibling doesnt see where i am coming from at all
a part of me wants he/she to read this
but the consequences are almost unthinkable
yet i know things cannot go on like that
a compromise has to be reached
i would somehow come you informed on how things are going next time

and just in case i sound slightly psychotic
the title of this post is taken from a line in "woman in black"
i just thought it matched my sentiments rather well
although i am nowhere near being THAT possessive

*i cant belive i just devoted an entire long entry to my 14 inch slab of grey metal