i am a flower quickly fading

Monday, October 30, 2006

in comparison

i get irritated with flies hovering over my food
how did that boy feel?
with flies landing all over his face

i escape from the slightest stench of rubbish
how do they live there?
in one of philippines's many notorious rubbish dumps

i complain abt having to budget on $300 a month
how do they survive?
on as little as $2 a day

i write up lists of things i want to buy/do/enjoy
do they even habour such thoughts?
as they beg each day for the next meal

i have no qualms enjoying my food
does such luxury ever cross their minds?
as their children survive on poor substitutes like rice water

i whine endlessly about my results
do they even dream of going to school?
as their job each day is to dig through piles of rubbish

i have the greatest gift of Christ in my heart
do they know of him?
as life seems stuck in the deepening rut

i have so much in comparison
so much.

is this realisation going to stop here?

11:42 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, October 29, 2006

a fresh coat of paint

yup..after abt a year and 3 months
i decided this space needed an ungrade
so here's a new look:)

as of now i cant seem to get my tagboard done properly
something wrong with the html i think
i promise i would figure it out soon

more posts coming up soon
been doing quite alot of learning and thinking these days

5:37 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, October 27, 2006

glittery glitter

it was concert for the kindergarten today:)
well for the afternoon session at least
the morning ones were yesterday
which i couldnt go for cos of french tutorial

i skipped geog lecture to go for it today:)
my first case of 'ponning' so far

anyway..i reached BA at abt 940
went into a room full of very colourfully dressed kids
boys in sparkly bright blue and sliver
and girls in yellow and purple
and i dun think they are ever going to wear the clothes again
its so not everyday wear..
but they looked super cute in them:)

they were hanging around in the classroom..
waiting for their turn to go to the hall
it was really nice talking to 3 year old kids again
[they were showing off their pseudo watches]
and playing with them:)
they had their biscuits[most were too excited to eat]
and i ended up helping to tie up the little bags

fast forward to the performances
well..its was very 3-year-old-standard lah
actions all at the wrong time and wrong side of the body
but they had a very forgiving audience
and well..they already look cute
and thats 99.9% of the 'please-the-audience' battle won
helps that its was all the mummies and daddies..

and more klesa stories:)
she is one naughty naughty girl!
but her 'cuteness index' compensates most of the time
her indulgent mom applied body glitter on her today
and with glitter, you get shiny..everything..
she was sitting on and playing with me and i was like..
"klesa, dun lean on me, i dun want the glitter on me ok.
im going to school later you know?
and she PURPOSELY started leaning on me again!
and laughing cheekily to herself!!
i spent the rest of the day dusting and dusting myself..
but she is really adorable and smart
which explains why i love her so much:)

everything was over at abt 1125
and i had to be in nus at 12
so..taxi to the rescue..
that set me back by abt 11 bucks

i guess i wont ever get to go back again
its going to be different with them in nursery
o well..its life i guess

BUT thank God for giving me that job earlier this year
it nearly wasnt a job, just 'paid playtime' or something
made me love working with kids even more
i wanna work there again someday:)

9:28 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

science

a specific way of handling the specimen
a specfic temperature of the heat source
a specific distance between the heat source and the specimen
a specfic time spent on the process of heating and melting
a specific consistency to be achieved

to get the perfect result..
a totally gooey, slightly browned marshmallow:)

maximum satisfaction is promised
if you stick to the science of toasting marshmallows

11:04 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, October 23, 2006

choice and decision making

good choices need not be made from a variety of options
sampling aint always necessary either

it funny that we know the right answers
but still want to try the grass on the other side
forbidden fruit? it is always really sweeter?

certain decisions are made from the start
and they have to be made

*was talking to a couple of friends about some stuff on sunday. my thoughts on it.

11:21 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, October 22, 2006

the lack of blogging

the combination of bejeweled and text twist
and uni-related work

its a potent mix i tell you
very very powerful

will get down again to blogging soon
i por-missse

10:31 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, October 16, 2006

essay fever

*a uni student's life.
essays that turn all your hair white.

jane's 5 steps to preserving your sanity/ life

- you know how mummy used to tell you to pay good attention in class? its not fool proof but it works. helps when you are trying to rush that essay cos you dun have to waste precious time figuring out that concept you are supposed to be writing about.

- cultivate a good working relationship with your laptop/desktop. its takes a while to get used to staring at it for like 5 hours straight. along the way, aquire a love for microsoft word.

- tweak that body clock to later nights. gone are the days when 11 was the record you could manage. drop a 1 and thats probably a more realistic target to hit.

- pick up speed reading and typing. its self explanatory.

- add friends to your msn list. you cannot imagine how vital it is to have friends whether you are still breathing as you complete the essay. also, they provide a temporary respite to the rows and rows of lines as friends tend to get very very crappy at say 130am. keeps the spirit alive:)
-end-

the last point is really really important. staying up in the dead of the night can be horribly depressing. and that conversation with a friend [helps if your friend is py] we were periodically 'checking' if the other person was still breathing/heart still beating. insane yes..but it took the edge off the "sian-ness" out of typing and typing and typing. the funny things you do when you are sleep deprived i guess:)

first wave over
preparing for the next one

1:35 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Sunday, October 15, 2006

founders

a table of 10
representations of the class of 2003
the neptune
60 bucks for a seat
my sec school's founders day:)

bumped into people who i NEVER ever thought i'll see
i mean..you dun expect to see your family doctor right?
and a certain pretty ancient church member

met old friends:)
most i do see in uni now
but glad to see people like lay kuan and tania:)
the table was a little skewed class-wise [all the smart-ass people]
but i still managed to have loads of fun
too bad my camera was out of juice...

caught up with teachers i hung around in pl
as in when i was a relief teacher, not a student
man..i miss them so much..
had fun making fun of them:)

managed to talk to my ex teachers:)
like my primary 1 form teacher!
[our founders dinner is a combined event]
she aged sooo much
but them again..it has been 12 years..
and as ex geog teacher:)
the one who made me love human geog
who has done very well in the education line
and rightfully deserves it

saw old students
said hi and smiled
what else can i do right?

typical chinese dinner
typical pl style of celebrations
typical songs and singing:)

i guess i was never a really totally-in-love with pl kinda student. yes, i liked it[enough to go back there to teach!] and had alot of fun there. but perhaps cos i was never a really high profile pupil, my sec school education wasnt particularly memorable..

yet..attending the dinner today was a nice feeling. the whole 'im part of the alumni" thing perhaps. but in a way..there was this intrinsic sense of belonging-ness to the rest of the 77 tables.

and what is a pl thing without the slightest use of or allusion to candles? our table was roped in to help distribute candles around the ballroom. and halfway through the dinner, during the performance of the class of 88' there was ' go light your world' sung. and across the whole room, candles started getting lighted, with the flame passed on to people and more people. soon 780 candles were shining in the very dark room. and the voices...the unison was truely heart warming.

now waiting for pictures to arrive:)

12:22 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Friday, October 13, 2006

tired

of staring at word documents on my laptop all the time
of waking up so early
of taking the bus, the train and the bus again to school
of having to think what to wear everyday
of having to take iron pills again
of being jaded

i think thats the thing
i have gotten jaded.

-times of refreshing-
times of refreshing
here in Your presence
no greater blessing
then being with You
my soul is restored
my mind is renewed
there's no greater joy Lord
then being with you.

11:31 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

dream job

i know what i want to do when i finish my bond
or when i retire
or when i get royally bored of teaching

i wanna work for 'discovery: travel and living'!

and not any show/documentary..
it will have to be shows like "great hotels", "super homes"..
ESPECIALLY "great hotels":)
i mean..its like enjoy the best hotels for a weekend
staying in the better suites, receiving the best VIP treatment
gushing over the beauty of the place...
all for an half an hour show!
seems pretty easy dun you think?
okk..have to learn to deal with the camera in the face first

oh fantasies:)
nothing wrong having some fun dreaming right?
see me on channel 16[SCV] in abt 71274389174 years

*and just a reassurance..im sticking to the bond till the end
no worries abt that:)

6:53 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Monday, October 09, 2006

heartbroken

a 3 year old broke my heart today!
fine..i havent been back in a while

i wanna be back there again

4:16 PM
heaven in a wildflower

Saturday, October 07, 2006

pesudo mist plus movie adventures

cant stand the haze.
that whitish tinge in the air
that all pervasive smell and stale-ness in the air.

i reckon its the culprit behind my onset of a sore throat
maybe cos i have been surrounded by sick people recently
or maybe it was the popcorn today
but i blame the haze. we need the rain.

the thing that i hate the most
the feeling that i just came home from a bbq all the time
maybe thats kinda exaggerated
but you get my drift[pun intended]

in other, hopefully more exciting news
erica, sam and i decided to splurge on a show[$20 each] today
went to watch the opening film for the french fest today
BUT we didnt get to watch it
i came this close to yelling at the counter girl
and i confess i was really mean to the 2nd guy later
and he was really nice about:) that helped alot
in any case..if you book tickets from cathy online
and even though you keyed in the credit card number
pls note that the tickets are not paid for yet.
and they do not have nets facilities
we learnt it the hard way today

we decided to watch 'sccop' in the end
its a laugh laugh show. really funny at some parts
esp the old magician and his hilarious lines and antics
seriously..he is almost a good enough reason to watch it
but be warned..the plot is non existent.
and it aint exactly a romantic comedy.

cough cough snort
what did i tell you. its the haze

12:03 AM
heaven in a wildflower

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

fish tank-ing plus somemore

was an exhibit for 2 hours today
sat in a 'fishtank' in the lib with py
and that place aint sound-proof, as we found out...
a little too late actually:) heh

interesting conversation we had:)
my opinions, your choice

geog soc bbq in the evening
not too bad i guess
didnt know anyone and didnt feel like acting friendly
but managed to talk decently with some people
food was well..a little under catered

and if it matters to you
got back the lit test
the one i thought i would do badly
it didnt turn out too bad, got a B+
enough i guess:)

MEET prog deadline extended till 12th oct
thinking it over again
but is my mind already set in the first place?

'the love song by J Alfred Prufrock'
some love poem we are doing for lit
read it and tell me if you understand it
i didnt and in a way still cant

11:58 PM
heaven in a wildflower