making melody in my heart


most of you would know that by and large i am music illiterate. in that i dont and cannot play any musical instrument. it doesnt help that my other siblings do..some multiple instruments even. [i say this merely as a matter of fact, not in envy]


went for the 'expresso' concert by mgs last night with bonnie. it was a night of nice performances and lots of screaming. i did enjoy myself watching:) from dances to singing to major jamming from electrico. it helped that i knew some girls who were performing:)


everytime i watch someone play a musical instrument, especially the piano, i would wonder what the difference would have been if i didnt choose to drop piano previously. a little backgound into the whole thing..i didnt like our piano teacher and hence decided to 'boycott' in my own way. i was only 9 then! eventually my parents allowed me to stop learning. and i never picked it up again.


do i regret the decision now? well..if i am brutally honest with myself, the answer would be 'in a way yes'. especially when i watch concerts and see people playing their instruments with ease. a little part of myself would tell me that i could have done the same too if i had only persevered. maybe[obviously] not play as well, but erm..good enough?


i actually feel this the strongest in church. mostly when i have to lead worship and hence have worship practice. many times, i end up feeling a little erm..'inferior'. everyone else is able to catch cues and stuff with ease while i have to struggle with them sometimes. of course things are getting better as i am getting more experience in this area:) its really learning through practice:)


but who can i blame right? after all i made the choice. my parents could have insisted that i continued but they allowed me to make the decision. before that they warned me that in stopping the lessons, i would be in the minority of people who are 'music illiterate'. i knew all that and still made the choice. a choice that largely was made out of sheer laziness and unwillingness to be discipline enough to practice. hehe


despite this..im glad to say that i dont think that i have lost out much too. there is much more to life than music. i have always accepted the fact that i cannot play any instrument, and canot really appreciate it too. oddly enough, even if the chance to learn is offered again, i think i would not do it. its just that im so used to being what i am now. i envy people from time to time and occasionally wish i can do the same but at the end of the day, im happy the way i am now. perhaps the strongest greivance would be that i am a very uneducated audience during music concerts and such. but i can deal wth that:) just act smart lor:) haha


thankfully, worshipping God entails alot more than the music. and that i can still worship him without fanciful and fabulous music. i guess because of this, and my love for the english langauge, the lyrics of the songs take centerstage for me. [im not saying that to like the music is wrong] so praise God for accepting worship in all forms:)



Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
psalms 150:6