the reason i blog - an episode of self realisation


something i have been thinking about since the day i started to blog
it would be a tad too extreme to call it a struggle
but it has been an issue


ever since the concept of blogging gained popularity, i have been hooked. not on the blogging part but the reading of them instead. as i found out more and more people i knew who had them, the number of blogs that i followed increased. soon..i was 'tracking' about 15 blogs on a regular basis[which meant each time i went online] i guess its this inate 'kaypo' side in all of us, wanting to know what is going on in the lives of other pple around..concern for them at best and voyeurism at worst. yet throughout this time, i decided against having a blog of my own, one reason being that i didnt want pple knowing all the contents of my mind and heart[yep..irony of the year]


i finally succumbed to the lure of having one of my own about 2 months ago. since then, blogging has somewhat become a new hobby of mine. to say that i enjoy blogging would have an extent of accuracy..thinking about issues to blog, writing down my opinions on matters or basically to remember the day's fantastic happenings. this blog has certainly been very well used, by myself at least. but was i writing for myself only, or with an audience in mind?


i didnt really publise the fact that i started one, for the reason..see above. i told really few pple about it actually. somehow, the idea that people reading my blog didnt sit too good with me. [somehow doing it yourself to others is different from having others do to you]but..nothing is ever very private on the boundary-less internet is it? soon, more and more pple found out..some whom i never even remotely thought would know. when i found out..i cringed[inside]


suddenly, i felt much more exposed. i felt the need to be more careful with the way i blog. there is always the chance for misinterpretation to happen. and for misunderstandings to take place yet..in a sense it felt good having people read my words. thats what blogs are for, arent they? ultimately most people blog for others to read, dont they? but..i am unsure what this blog is to me, what is the reason i blog?


to rewind back to my first entry, i said that i wanted to use this as an avenue to proclaim Christ. my style is to discuss an issue/event that took place and give my, hopefully sound, christian take on it. is that considered? yet it can be said that i blogged for myself only, using those posts to iron out my thoughts, formulate my arguments and sort out the opinions in my mind. i used this as a platform to air my views, or some may say, to impose them on others instead.


but its still my desire to share Christ with everyone. in that case, i should be glad that more people are accessing this right? while the main reason i do blog is for myself[its a diary in the first place] i shall keep in mind the fact that pple can misconstrue the things i write. but in any case, i am not ashamed of the gospel that i share!


i know this is a disgustingly confusing entry. i have reread it many times trying to make it sound more concise but just couldnt make it any better. anyway..who do i blog for right?