muses memories murmurs of my heart

2008-03-04T01:09:00.005+08:00

a done deed

i never thought i'll even say this
but i have moved to esotericmind87(dot)wordpress(dot)com
it has been a thought for a while but i never could bear to do it
but now its a done deed

i'll miss this space
for it has been 2 years and 7 months of blogging here
goodbye old friend

2008-03-02T21:57:00.002+08:00

the woe of a sleepless night

i had ice lemon tea during dinner last night
not the canned variety..it was the real McCoy
and what a BAD idea it was

i couldnt sleep the whole night!!
i kept agnes awake with me till 1 plus by talking to her in her room
went back to my room and started tossing and turning the night away
its so not funny. really not funny.
esp when the body is physically tired after a long day

to make matters worse
i had the company of a mosquito in my room that kept buzzing in my ear
and being the only source of nourishment for it around
[the happening esther was cycling the night away]
no guesses for what it did to me..
i had so many bites lah!
including 3 on my fingers..which are extremely bad places for bites
i was changing between my bed and esther's trying to outwit it

and if all that wasnt enough..
my air-con unit started making really weird noises
it was the high pitched sort - the most irritating of all sounds
i was already so cranky from the lack of sleep that i couldnt stand it
so..i just switched it off at 5am and opened the windows
hoping the mosquito would fly out to freedom
but noooo..it would rather keep me company.

surprisingly i didnt do too badly in church today
i guess i probably somehow managed to get very brief snatches of sleep
but i reached home at abt 230 after lunch and all
and went straight to bed till 530
and i shall sleep early tonight

now the new list of drinks to avoid
coffee, teh peng [having it during breakfast is fine] and real ice tea

2008-02-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

apparently i have anger management issues

*msn conversation with J

J: and ohhhh big sidetrack: T actually talked about YOU when he was at my place that night haha!
me: wow..and what about me??
J: *telling me some random stuff first about other people
J: then when he came to you he had only one snippet of wisdom for you, and i agree too
J: promise me you wont get pissed off first when i tell you!
me: hmm..okay
J: here it goes..you look better with specs than contacts.
J: there. i've said it. *takes cover*

the conversation continued on but o man..how funny is this:)

2008-02-27T20:41:00.002+08:00

regression

im trying to prepare a reflection/sharing of some sorts
the base of it being something i wrote about 2 years back.

firstly i cannot remember what i wrote at all [have to keep checking]
and secondly, i think i sounded a lot more mature then
dun really think im capable of producing such stuff anymore..

sigh..leaky brain leaky brain

2008-02-24T20:40:00.001+08:00

for i know he is strong

i have been 'stoning' what the rest of the year would be
of the things im going to do and i have to do
and of the things i want to do

it feels like there is so much that is going to happen
and its probably really true that there is too much
im a mix of thankful, excited and "weird-ed out" by everything

it feels quite overwhelming
i cannot see how im going to finish everything with my own strength
its looks so tiring and i feel way too inadequate

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
for i can do all things through Christ my Lord
i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
i can do all things through Christ

when the load is heavy
when the road seems long
i'll give Him all my burdens
for i know He is strong

2008-02-19T22:50:00.003+08:00

just keep swimming

now the commitments/responsibilities are starting to snowball
and i havent be on top on some of them so far
one of it being my school work.

but i'll just keep swimming
God shall sustain:)

2008-02-14T23:35:00.003+08:00

double standards:)

*was walking to the bus stop after cg with E and P. they were telling me about the rather "interesting" female dresser in a class they take together..

P: aiyah..she got boyfriend can already lah.
E: how you know she has?
P: she always sit next to that guy. confirmed her boyfriend lah!
E: *very shocked tone* eh..i also always sit next to you what. so im your boyfriend meh? you let him hear he sure "hump-thump' [whack] me upside down 10 times!!

i havent heard such a funny thing in quite a while:)

2008-02-11T17:53:00.000+08:00

for i've been blessed beyond measure

*there was this and later this

it was quite hard the past month, the feeling of uncertainty and the wants
the pressure for answers from people [i know they didnt mean it]
the frustration of dealing with the dean's office/emails
and the envy of friends who had no problems with the same thing
i didnt really blog it cos i couldnt put it in words
but thank God for friends who helped in any way they could

i stuggled for the maturity to accept God's plans
whether they be good or bad
the liminal feeling was sucky - having a place but it not working out
[lboro have sem date clashes with NUS, so its a no-go]
it was really hard to pray for His will and not my own

but i really have been blessed beyond measure
i managed to change my university to durham
and i have been approved to go for a full year [whole of year 3]
and more importantly, m-o-e has no issue with it
i truely thank God
and once again know that im so undeserving

there are alot of things to work out now..
family financies
admin paperwork
the dreaded module mapping

but He always makes all things beautiful in his time:)

2008-02-11T16:34:00.001+08:00

'your daily walk'

*as per my commitment to read the bible in 1 year using the above devotional.
Genesis completed - 17/1/08
Exodus completed - 31/1/08
Leviticus completed - 11/2/08 [just barely on track]

2008-02-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

the battle

between the Word/word of authority
and the voice of feelings..
which would you choose?

2008-02-08T17:47:00.000+08:00

day 2

mum's side of the family.

this is actually a 1st day shot. but the thing abt photography is that the phototaker is never taken. and so..this is to honour the man of most of the pictures:) it was a self shot using my uncle's mirror. he looks quite "pro" huh [act seh only lah..hehs]
the 3 of us again, on the way out for the day's adventures. plus my brother's left sleeve.

all the girl cousins:) we range from 24 to nearly-2 years in age. a pity the photo is a little blurred.

all the boys minus the newest addition who is at 7 weeks old. and yes, there are exactly twice as many girls as there are boys.

the all cousins shot:) it took so long to get everyone ready for the picture and there were something like 5 cameras around so everyone is looking at different places.

yu sheng again. the 4th time i have had it for the new year.

this photo just warms the cockles of my heart. she looks so happy:) i think she was playing this random jumping game with some cousins.

and thus ends the main activites of cny for my family. its be a pretty good 2 days.

2008-02-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

chinese new year 08'

my brother brought along his new[and very expensive] toy along for the visitations today. hence the collection of photographs for this year.

our reunion dinner spread:) the eating starts during the food prep as we [i] pick on the dishes already. had lots of abalone this year which made a very happy me:) this also features our dining table in all of its glory - its used for meals once a year.
lo hei my mom bought everything pre-made this year and only assembly was required. i never know what to say while tossing though.

first house of visitations - grandma's:) in the metal tray is her homemade new year cakes [nian gao] of which she is very proud of. i like that this picture shows her right in her element, providing good food for all the people who matter to her:) us and our grandparents:) the 3 of us had a colour scheme this year. and yes, we surprised the relatives again by being so *ahem* pretty. hehs.

my 4 cousins from my "older" uncle. i always get the "time passes so fast" syndrome while watching them grow up.

the darling girl of my younger uncle. a source of much laughter in the house usually. altogether, my grandparents have 9 grandchildren, a respectable number i should think:)

my grandparents, their children and the respective spouses. the siblings are my mom, the lady in pink and the 2 guys at the back. i just like this photo a lot and i think its testament of God's blessings on this family:)

finally a family shot. the lady in white is my youngest paternal side aunt. she used to live with us hence she knows my grandparents and wanted to visit them to. my dad's shirt looks so 1980s huh:) and ziteng is so tall..

3rd uncle's [dad's side] home. my sisters have been going on abt how this cousin of mine looks exactly like me from the back. both of us cannot see how and so we wanted a picture to verify. didnt achieve it though cos of the angle. and that spot on my back is a mole of which i have plenty.

random shot that my brother took.

all 3 dresses were bought on the same night hence the very coordinated look:) plus we can borrow each other's dresses. the 184375th blessing of having sisters:)

a 4 of us shot since a very long time too. too bad ziteng is a little out of focus.

lunch gathering at my oldest uncle's house. my aussie cousin-in-law and his son. its such a sweet shot that it just has to go up here.

*new post will happen tmr after the big lunch hosted by my grandma:)

2008-02-04T20:36:00.000+08:00

servant leadership

WW was a guest teacher for the ss class on sunday. and she taught on servant leadership - tailored more towards a particular progamme the class is having in a couple of weeks.

but it was a very timely for me. very humbling too.

i realise i was complaining soooo much the past couple of weeks. a 'thank you' to those who had to hear me go on about it:) remind me too abt this..if and when i start whining again.

2008-01-30T22:23:00.000+08:00

trade

its just so sick that people can actually trade people
and do such evil things to them in the process

i thank God that i never need to have these concerns cos its singapore
but then why do all of them suffer that fate?
its such a scary world we live in.

2008-01-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

the right thing to do

i was on my way to meet D, HS and A for a very important dinner today. i took a bus to paya lebar station to take train. all was well.. semi-rushing from the bus stop to the station [one needs to keep up with the average walking speed] i walked past a beggar.

he was hundled in a slight recess along the pavement, sitting on an old piece of cardboard i think. he was wearing a characteristical loose white shirt and plain shorts. but the focal point was his left leg which appeared to be amputated from thigh down.

i walked, saw and walked on. maybe 5 steps down later, i heard the sound of metal-against-metal clanging sound of coins that i was jotted. i walked past a begger without even the slighest shred of compassion in my heart. i talk about joining G3 and all that but here is someone and i didnt even think to help. its so..appalling.

then i started wondering what is the right thing to do. well-meaning people tell you that its best not to donate cos you dun know if they belong to a syndicate of some sorts. some others say that one never knows what they do with the donated money - buy alcohol, cigs or drugs.

but that can be refuted by a "what if they really need the money?" shouldnt we give people the benefit of the doubt. perhaps we could really be feeding a money laundering syndicate but we will never be sure it is right? some also say to donate to buskers/tissue paper sellers cos at least they are doing something. and that again begets the question, "do we only give money to people who are useful/serve our needs?"

and perhaps the bigger question, "how much would the small one-time donation help?"and thereafter "is there something more that can and has to be done?"

what should the christian response be?

i have a head full of thoughts and questions now. and the renewed prayer for a tender heart again.

2008-01-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

done

new clothing for the new year:)

its strange that went it comes to shopping for cny
i never feel it important enough to do despite the liscence to spend
but being a fillal, chinese daughter.. [plus cos i have sisters:)]
i still buy something every year.

and over the years i have really come to realise that..
shopping with my sisters is the 'fun-nest':)
i enjoy it with friends too but seriously nothing beats this
we are very funny people:)

2008-01-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

a naughty deed

*dad picked my brother and i for dinner. i got in the car with him first
dad: so where to go? [in the house we have decided potong pasir already]
me: hmm..the coffee shop? or eh..there is the new kfc there.
dad: really? where?
me: at the CC
*brother gets in the car, we drive off
me: [to my bro] kfc for dinner can? [he nods]
my dad: eh..actually im supposed to to cut down on oily and fried food.
me: oh yah. how was the check up today? [more on it later]
dad: oh okay lah.
me: then still can eat kfc or not? later mummy scold how?
dad: can lah..its ok.

...dinner at kcf...

*we went back home. dad and i left again to church
dad: if mummy find out i sure get scolded. haha
me: we dun tell her lah
dad: she ask where we eat how?
me: potong pasir lah
dad: what we eat?
me: we say its western lah
dad: what exactly?
me: erm..say chicken cutlet.
dad and i: hahahaha

...after church meetings...

*agnes, mom and both of us in the car.
mom: [the results of my dad's checkup] blah blah blah
mom:.....doctor says he must cut oily/deep fried food cos of......
me: papa!! you didnt tell me all that!! now i have a guilty conscience!
mom/agnes: why??
me: we did a naughty thing today..heh for dinner
and the entire story came out...
agnes: you 2 are so funny
mom: you see lah..thats why i must go along with him.

we are all cool. it was super hilarious, the entire thing. and so my dad has to cut down on rubbishy food. certain results warrant some cause for concern so he needs to be careful. and yes..no more kfc.

2008-01-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

solving maths with the Lims

-the question-
there are 3 cannibals and 3 missionaries. all of them need to cross a river using a boat. there can be only 2 people on the boat at any time. only one cannibal can row the boat - the other 2 are not allow. if there is more cannibals to missionaries, the missionaries would be eaten up. the goal is to get everyone across the river. there is no maximum number of steps.

-we started solving it...- it was super duper hilarious:)
we decided to act the senario out - for visualisation and fun lah. and this ensued..
mom: i want to be a missionary.
agnes and i: i want to be a cannibal!!
agnes: i want to be the cannibal that rows the boat.
me: then me leh?
esther: you are the usless cannibal lah..

...

mom: i know..i will keep praying [to not be eaten]
me: ah..i know!! the missionaries will convert the cannibals on the boat.
esther: no...must be like daniel [in the bible] and pray for the people!!*

...

we were solving and walking around. had to backtrack a move cos there were more cannibals to missionaries.

esther: cannot..must come back
mom: why cannot?
esther: cos there are more cannibals there. the mssionary will get eaten
mom: the missionary just faster jump out of the boat lah!!
everyone: CANNOT LAH!!

esther managed to solve the question in the end using forks and spoons. try solving it too. first person to tell me the correct answer gets a free "teh peng":)

*in the bible, daniel was a very righteous man although he was in a foreign country. so some people plotted to harm him and persuaded the king, using false claims, to throw him into a lion's den. however, God was faithful and kept the mouths of the lions shut and daniel's innocent life was spared. [for the full detailed account, read daniel 6]

2008-01-16T18:53:00.000+08:00

but i know who holds tomorrow

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hand

i dont know if i will like the outcome
i dont even know what the outcome will be
but i believe its the best for me

2008-01-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

morally distinct but not socially segregated

its so hard to toe that line

2008-01-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

year 2 sem 2

GEK1039: understanding careers
EN2111: reading british and world texts
GE2018: the biophysical environment of singapore
GE3226: tourism development
GE3239: environmental sustainability

and it just hit me that its going to be a majorly heavy sem
2 mods are 100% CA and the geog one sounds quite nasty on the ivle
separately, the lit mod would have me studying 6 books and 2 films
plus i am doing 2 level 3000 geog mods.
my brain kinda doesnt feel big enough to handle all these..

plus on top of everything i have g3 too
from what i know, it can be quite heavy too
but i've committed since long ago and im going to do it well
it all just sounds a little scary now though

but the saving grace is that i have a 3 day week again:)
pending tutorial balloting of course
*thou shalt not waste all the free days this sem

-edit-
im in the japan team for g3
and im team leader?!

i really need a crash course in time management this sem..

2008-01-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

by grace alone

i got allocated loughborough uni in uk
its truely by grace alone
and if it wasnt enough..
although i didnt end up in the same continent with my good friends
i have a friend who is going to the same place and we didnt plan for that at all
God really works in amazing ways

its strange that i prepared myself for not getting it
but not the otherway around
so getting the smses was really quite surreal
really..its such an extravangent display of grace
thank you God:)

2008-01-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

A is for apple [pie]

from the flour to the butter
the peeling of the apples and the slicing of them [plus a bleeding cut!]
to the oodles of brown and white sugar
plus the egg whites and lemon juice

add in alot of kneading and rolling of the dough..

you get apple pie:)
although it looked a leeettttleeee bit like apple soup at first
but it tasted good:)

too bad we didnt have a camera at hand
our moms would have been very proud of us:)

2008-01-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

poor and forgotten

people in church: hey..esther now will wear dress already ah?
somemore people in church: eh..i think your sis [agnes] has very good taste.

and im like...
what about me?
this poor and forgotten sister of theirs..
haha:)

*disclaimer: this is not a complaining/moaning post. i just thought it was a funny happening:)

2008-01-04T10:38:00.000+08:00

doesn't feel new

the year doesnt really feel very new to me
maybe its cos school hasnt started yet unlike normal school
i mean..it was the first day of the school year that forced us[me] into reality

modules for this sem have been a little trouble
its amazing how clashy 4 modules can be to the last one
but o well..things will work out in the end:)

2008-01-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

for 2008

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love,
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King,
Always, only, for my King.

Take my lips and let them be filled with messages for Thee;
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold,
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my love, my God, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee,
Ever, only all for Thee.

and..for this year i am trying to use a devotional that helps me read the bible in a year. after 2007 without using one, its time to use something again. please help to keep me accountable.

2007-12-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

year 2007

as i mentioned to a friend, in comparison to the past 2 years, this year is less eventful. no big changes or terrible national exams. but a year well-lived still requires reflections and thankgiving to the One who sustains all things.

-studies-
not much change in this area - study, do projects, make new friends and take exams. but geog has allowed me to have an appreciation for the Creator. i didnt do well for that particular physical geog module but studying [or trying to study] it makes me think God is a geographer. bio this sem too makes me think He is at the same time a biologist. i guess He is really all things:)

the year hasnt been easygoing but God really brought me through it without anything more than a scratch. i thank Him for his presence and the providence of timely friends along the way. things i really need to work on include cultivating discipline and not settling for anything less then the best. i have slackened on the second one especially in the semester that just ended.

-church/ministry/general christian activities-
i somewhat started becoming a sunday school teacher [on-the-job training] this year at around feb. it is really challenging and i struggle with feelings of inadequency all the time. and at the same time, the whole "not doing my best" to prepare for lessons' temptation is there. i have learnt alot from the past year and it has to be credited to sharon and eugene for being very good 'mentors' with an infinite amount of patience [esp sharon:)] i couldnt have had better people to learn from. im still a work-in-progress in this area and its my prayer that God would continue to refine me more.

tuition programme was pretty great this year:) i really enjoyed myself with the kids. although i know the are so not scared of me lah. watching the class over the past 2 years has been very encouraging esp when the shy kids make friends and all that. but its a heavy commitment so it has to be sacrificed for the coming year. i'll miss teaching and interacting with them.

i started g3 when the current academic year began. its a missions training and exposure programme that FES [parent body of vcf] runs. phase 1 was pretty ok and i especially enjoyed the mauritian pastor's talk abt mauritus. its really unfortunate that g3 wont be able to conduct the exposure trip there. and perhaps the best thing that came out of phase 1 was that i got to know stella [agnes' mauritian friend from uk]. thus far we are trying to keep up a facebook/blog reading thing and i really hope it lasts. did g3 make me more 'missions-minded'? i cant say it yet but it has certainly made me very much more aware about a lot of things.

-friends/people in my life-
the 'gang of 4' is still pretty much thriving:) and for that i really thank God. long phone conversations, jap food sessions, [window] shopping outings, fellow blog tracking and so on are quite naturalised already. we have our differences/quirks-that-irritate but perhaps the beauty of it is that we still can get along well:)

in the last month especially i have gotten-ed to know alot more vcfers with the anntic camp and prc camp. thank God for that:) at least fts and combined stuff wont be so weird now. i still struggle with forming good [as in not superficial] friendships with some people i am supposed to know better but we shall see. my best new friend of 2007 hails from vcf too though [we are more complexly linked actually:)]

i have realised that im not really good at keeping friends. i can make good project group friends [jokes/great project sessions and all that jazz] for a semester and later cannot sustain it through the next semester. i also do not make new friends very easily. it bugs me because i dun think its healthy. i guess its mostly myself to blame because i hate talking "for the sake of it" - a little strange behaviour for a person who likes talking. but at the same time i wonder if i need to change all that just to make more friends? its somewhat an issue i have been struggling a little with.

-self-
i think i have grown in my own way this year. a certain very bad habit has been conquered [thus far] and i continue to rely on God's strength for it. on the whole, age coupled with self awareness has been making me more self-intrusive - a skill which i see merit in. but at the same time, i realise my usual optimism for life in general has been diminishing, a change which i dun think good. i know that surviving the entire year has been nothing short of God's endless grace and im humbled by His love. God indeed continues to be very faithful and i can only pray that i would be faithful to Him and His work too.

-in conclusion-
i thank God:)

*this year's reflections are out slightly earlier [and a little more hastily done] because i have a church youth chalet from the 30th till the 1st.

2007-12-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

PRC camp

a whole day in direct blazing sunlight = sun burn
reddened face and arms plus seriously tan-lined feet

it was pretty fun:)
my fellow group leaders were great and SK was our lifesaver
the PRCs were nice and friendly too
i think what worked was the extension of grace by both groups
one would assume that we are the ones "sacrificing" to help them
but seriously, they were very gracious in accepting our bad chinese
and well..we just have/had fun together:)

honestly before the camp i wondered how much 2 days would help
as in not much english would be spoken, not much stories told
and i was reminded of the avenue that vcf has for 'follow-up'
well..i'll see about joining that but next year promises to be very busy

2007-12-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

down the stairway of stars

down the stairway of stars to be born in a stall
Christ came down from heaven giving up all
leaving the palace of glory above
He came to redeem our souls to love

from the scepture of power, from the bright angel band
from the crown lined with stars, from the throne of that land
leaving these riches at infinite cost
Christ, our redeemer seeking the lost

up the Calvary road Jesus walked all alone
He suffered and died our sins to atone
then He rose from the tomb and He lived ever more
He conquered our foe to open life's door

from the gloom and despair, from the scorn of that hour
from the bondage of death, from the thrall of sin's power
your soul to free from sin's prison bars
Jesus came down the stairway of stars
-end-

with my sister's post as a catalyst, this is one of my favourite christmas songs/carols. it is part of a musical [Colours of Christmas] that the children's choir did. i think it was our swan song too cos after that many of us left and the choir disbanded due to certain circumstances. i miss it.

i spend christmas in church for morning service. lunched with the family at sushi tei. shopped [and spent a lot of money] in vivocity with agnes in the afternoon. it felt like a normal day although most places were more crowded than usual. i wonder if its cos im older and so excitment eludes after a while or that i've been so hardened to enjoy and anticipate it. i remember that as a little kid i would love the christmas season/period. where did all that go? im troubled and yet rather apathetic abt this realisation.

and it shouldnt be since it marks the day that Jesus came down the stairway of stars. imagery and well-placed words aside, christmas indeed is the day we celebrate the birth of the King who would one day conquer the foe to open life's door. and for that, we rejoice:)

2007-12-24T12:39:00.000+08:00

Your glory veiled

its amazing that God came as a little baby
and in a manner that did not befit a king at all

i havent been feeling christmas-cy thus far
its def not good to be caught up in the festivities at all
but i think that a certain expectancy should be there

blessed christmas one and all:)

2007-12-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

do not try this at home

i fried my elder sister's tv today!

i was watching grey's anatomy for abt an hour plus..
when this weird hissing sound started
and i was like"this doesnt sound like it's part of the show.."
then..smoke started billowing out of the tv
and it was still working!!

i was like "OH CR*P!!"
i switched everything off and opened the sliding door
but smoke travels so i ran around the house "on-ing" the fans
and left them on for quite a while
it smelled quite bad esp her room

it sure was scary
the house still smells a tinge weird
but i think agnes' room is safe already:)

2007-12-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

impatience

*roasting marshmallows after a bbq. the kids had no patience to wait

agnes: ok..we'll all count to 100 ok. 1...2...3...4...
11yr old cousin: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10....[very quickly said]
7yr old cousin: [as agnes counts to 4] 89...102...

2007-12-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

a slacker's life

grey's anatomy dvds.

i am amazed at the stamina i have when it comes to watching them
which helps to partially explain why im not blogging as much
but the show..is good, really good stuff:)

2007-12-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

and im back...

with a mini out-break on my face, some nasty looking insect bites on my arms, a terrible sleep debt, new depth of affections for my bed and toilet [toilet bowl included], new friends, alot of new knowledge, new awareness and a new desire to have a tender heart.

i went for AnnTIC [vcf's annual teach-in camp] with some apprehensions. i do know enough vcfers but im not close to nearly all of those who were going. i dun need lots of friends to get by but of course the possibility of feeling a little lonely is kinda sad lah. but thank God that my group leader was a friend-of-a-friend:) but i was excited abt what i could learn during the camp seeing that many people have told me good things regarding it. in a certain sense, i have felt myself lacking in this area for a while.

and im back feeling rather tired but full of lessons/thoughts/challenges. and full of thanksgiving

-the Word-
the teaching was really intensive but great. we did an expository study of the book of Amos and i attended the IBS [inductive bible study] on the epistles where we focused on Philippians. plus i signed up for 2 workshops - intellectual property and emotions in christianity.

1. Amos Study: the speaker was very good. It was a super detailed study of the book and all the prophecies and judgements inside. the 5 theme talks really brought home the need for christians to stand for social justice and reject complacency. personally for myself, i guess studying geography exposes me to quite alot of social issues and im now convicted that i need to do something about this knowledge. what specifically im not sure yet, but i'll think of something practical.

2. IBS sessions: it was nearly ibs overload with 4 3-hour long sessions. we covered 2 chapters only but it was very insightful. hard work though cos the approach is rather tedious but i guess the trainers had to drill all that into us. my small group was pretty good too:)

3. workshops: i really enjoyed them and left with more questions for myself at the end of both. i went for both workshops for very different reasons and i guess by and large im satisifed with the material shared by the facilitators. IP workshop was really funny cos of all the erm..funny people who were inside:) the emotions one really made me think about alot of issues regarding myself. perhaps more on this next time.

-the fellowship-
i had a wonderful group and its really God's hand that put us together. i enjoyed my group and i think we had very fruitful sharing/reflections sessions. as a group we had a really strong sense of place [we sat at the same table for EVERY meal] and a healthy sense of humour. i guess what helped was that everyone was pretty open while sharing. i really pray that we can keep these friendships. really thank God for S who was a good group leader and N for performing the job of a BSL [bible study leader] very well:)

the group members:)

J: a really nice friend i know from before but we aren't close. on the 3rd day we had an hour of Silence and Solitude; first a personal time then a "senior" had to look for a "junior" to pray with. J asked if i wanted to do it with her and so we went behind the staircase and sat there - in full view of everyone actually but o well..heh. we ended up talking for a really long time about a lot of things before praying. we didnt really manage to talk much more during the rest of the camp but that was a nice time.

HM: my group member. i never knew her before the camp but well she is friendly and has a good load of wisdom. we didnt really talk lots during the camp cos everyone has other people to talk to i guess. we were supposed to talk on the last night but due to some bad luck it didnt materialise. but we made it up on the last day when we really talked [as in shared] on the bus ride back and for all of lunch plus 2 rounds around causeway point. i think we amazed each other at what we talked about.

E: she is the staffworker from ntu's cf. usually speakers/staff workers/workshop speakers "float" around the group for meals and reflections but our group "adopted" her into our group. so she joined us for everything. she is an interesting character who brought much adult insights into the discussion. and she really has a heart for young people - stayed up to 2 plus counselling one of my group members who had some issues.

-random things that are worth remembering-
the nice 10 course dinner on the last night that materialised because of an extremely frugal camp treasurer. the ramly burgers that L went out to buy for the entire camp [100+ people] the super fast baths i took cos i didnt like the toilets. the ultimate frisbee session in which so many of us skidded and fell cos of the mud. the rain and cool/cold weather. the exco-time sessions, one of which had vcf put through a mock trial [a sobering experience]. the crossing of the causeway a la bus 170 style WITH our heavy bags. the dinning "shed" where we had our meals and discussions/reflections. our group's unstereotypical med student.

i really enjoyed anntic. im no social butterfly so i cant say i made alot of friends but i did make good ones. i really hope that we can somehow continue the friendships but i know its really hard. the preaching and teachings really was good and challenging. by God's grace i'll go again next year:)

2007-12-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

away

in vcf anntic camp from tmr till saturday [10th to 15th]
it sounds so long..
but i'll make the best of it:)

2007-12-08T20:38:00.000+08:00

post-exams

met stella and a couple of agnes' other friends for dinner on thursday
[i got to befriend stella cos of g3]
it was a little wierd cos i coulcnt really join in their conversations
but they were all nice people
and stella is really sweet:) with a french accent to boot:)

dragonboating with the vcfers today
one of the rare activites i join but it was enjoyable:)
was on a kayak with dennis before switching to the dragonboat
probably going to have a sore right arm tmr but o well..
at least i can now say i have dragonboated before:)

*have more excitement actually but blogger isnt working too well

2007-12-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

year 2 sem 1

ended as of today after the bio paper:)
strangely enough i dun feel the usual strong sense of relief
im glad its all over though

i realised i didnt talk much abt this sem as compared to the last two
maybe cos uni isnt much of a new experience anymore?
but i really thank God for the new friends this sem
and He has been very good:)

2007-12-03T16:53:00.000+08:00

funny niece

remember little G from here

had family gathering at my home. dad's side of the grapevine
and i acquired a new little story:)

*sitting at the table with big G [10 years old] and little G [8 years]. chatting with them, little G telling me excitedly about her "lost" toothbrush.

their grandma: En-en, you want some more food?
big G: no need..
me: hmm..why does your ah-ma call her En-en [from her chinese name, whats new right?] and you are called G*****?
little G: of course lah! what..call me Xin xin? im not a gorilla!!.

2007-11-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

skepticism

my mom went for some food cum health talk today
and she came back with alot of new/newly repackaged info
which, being the good mother she is, had to be shared
of course it made for good dinner conversation
but i soon found myself disagreeing with the stuff she was saying
not that they are untrue per se, more like its not possible to do it
and i realised what a skeptic i have become [not a good thought]
and of course i started wondering why..

and i think it's partly due to the nature and society module!
watching all those videos have made me realise life isnt that simple
and helped breed this sense of skepticism about all adverts and such
not a totally bad thing but it ain't good either

and thinking further..
i realised i also have been becoming more skeptical towards God/the faith
perhaps its growing up and the proactive thinking
not a bad thing but that isnt a good thing either
sometimes i really wish for a childlike faith again

*edit*
[as there has been some activity on my tagboard, i decided to add on to this post]

its so easy to be skeptical. it really is.
perhaps education compounds the problem
but i guess as people we have too little faith sometimes

and as i have been reminded, it's as crucial to seek answers for the questions
questions only of value if they serve as catalysts for answers
apologetics [christian jargon] or not, formal or casual discussions
its the process of searching when truths are uncovered

2007-11-27T23:32:00.001+08:00

the world is pretty amazing

really it is:)
i wasnt sure about too many questions in the first exam
but if there is one thing i really went away with this module
is that the world is really amazing
and that the God behind it all must be even better

and for the second one
somehow my favorite phrase to use was "human agency"
i was right under the nose of the lecturer cos of my seat
not a fun place to be cos, among other things, you hear their whispers

2 done and hopefully i'll do alright

2007-11-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

its official

told the tution kids i wont be teaching again next year
after 2 years of, its quite sad to leave [albeit not forever]

i see alot of worth in this ministry and i plan to return to it
just a matter of 'when' i guess
although they have officially put me down as only taking a break for a year

2007-11-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

revised: the label[s] which i respond to

a certain 17 years old cousin on my dad's side recently started a blog. so..being the good cousin, i hopped [or rather "mouse-d"?] over and left my mark on her tagboard - name, blog add and a nice short comment. a couple of days later, i revisited it and to my amusement, she linked me as "siyun" aka my chinese name. i am quite tickled by it but its really not a surprise.. as it turns out, its more or less the catalyst for this rather needless, lighthearted post which serves no purpose except for some self-entertainment, and escape from exams.

but anyways, it got me thinking about the names i use and respond to..
1. my full name [not putting it for obvious reasons] all sorts of official matters or trips to the doctor i think.

2. jane - as im known to the vast majority of people. "gripes" about people's reactions to and jokes made at the expense of it shall be dealt with in a separate post. its quite funny at times though.

3. siyun - hmm..chinese lessons i guess. and its more used on my dad's side which is slightly more chinese-speaking[esp the uncles and aunties generation]. and which explains the above little anecdote even among the younger ones. i think its also cos most of my cousins do not have english names so we sometimes just all laspse into the chinese names.

4. yun - this name is strictly for family use and is well..out of bounds for non-family. my own family uses the 2nd syllable of our chinese names at home/to each other often causing some confusion for outsiders and friends. i think its roots started from my materal grandmother being afraid of mispronouncing our english names. but anyhow, i see this as a term of endearment and only a select few are allowed to use it. i think my siblings may have different opinions for themselves.

5. janey/janie - as a couple of jc friends call me sometimes. i figure its kind of cute and its not often that a nickname is longer than the real one.

6. kbof - py coined it back in jc 2 when we were supposed to be studying for our A levels. see if you can solve it to see how i refers to me. more or less an msn nick only although some friends use it. plus i conveniently use it for a couple of internet accounts.

7. u06****x/u06***** - for exam papers when thats all i have been reduced to. for random other nus matters too.

added after a reminder from esther. cant believe i forgot.
8. er jie - translates into 'second sister' [when there is that many sisters, a heirarchy is necessary] and this is how my 2 younger siblings address me. yup only those 2 people in the world so technically its strictly for family use only.

and this added in after erica's reminder. man..my memory is zilch.
9. ms lim - when i was working. and this is a name/label i havent really gotten used to yet. in BA this year, the principal would try to call me that and i wont respond but once she switches to 'jane' she gets my attention! but i will have plenty of time getting used to it once i start teaching.

10. esotericmind - *how could i forget this!!* a bastardised version of my email address and K my vcf cg leader started calling me that after being so intrigued by it. and his usual words of welcome would be "hi..is the esotericmind feeling esoteric today?" the vcfers dun use it but a substantial number knows it refers to me cos of vcf arts welcome tea.

at final count its at least 10. [poke me if i have left out anymore but i pray no more are lurking around] it seems so excessive looking at all that now. but ah well..official names/labels are definitely here to stay and as for the rest, i guess they are nice for variety:)

2007-11-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

it felt like mental gymnastics

*slightly self-indulgent post ahead. readers are warned.

in the last month or so, something exciting was happening in my uni life - i was applying for a place in the SEP programme. which is pretty much the max amount of academic excitment we can get:) i had been looking forward to applying, and hopefully going, since many moons ago. blame the elder sis for having such great fun during her uni years:)

but as it turned out, the month was one of my most mentally stressful months in its own right. i had some difficulty deciding on the unis and somehow messed up my application's study plans [had to humbly email the dean's office to get them to unlock it]. not to mention the tedious-ness of the personal essay writing in which i somehow couldnt articulate my reasons for wanting to go overseas.

but most of the "stress" didnt come from there. due to certain rather complex circumstances, i found myself in a position i hardly want to re-live again. i never thought so hard and brutally at myself, and questioned my motives and decisions. and i got so annoyed with myself and the pressure around. although looking back, i think that i perhaps complicated matters needlessly for myself. talking it through with people helped a little but the answers/advice offered didnt satisfy me enough. but a good thing perhaps, i prayed. alot.

the application has been handed in already. along the way things started to clear up in my head making things easier. im not sure if i will be successful with my application and im trusting God to make that decision for me. and if i am, the chances of me landing somewhere alone is pretty high - a particularly scary yet really exciting thought now. but that shall only be dealt with if i get a place.

why the blogpost and why only now?
i didnt trust myself to blog properly about it previously - emotions too high-strung [this sounds so strong] and my usual objective self/mind went on a vacation. some friends can attest that i was a wreck for a couple of days trying to sort through the many thoughts and confusions inside this brain of mine. but having survived it, i feel it right to remember what has happened. i think God has done his work in the whole situation and i thank Him for it. and also to the people who heard me whine and ventilate my frustrations, thank you for the ears:)

and now im really just trusting Him for the outcome.

2007-11-17T09:54:00.000+08:00

my blog readership

for most part, my readers are relatively silent
save for friends who tag

but when i blog something slighty out of character
i get an explosion of people asking [tags, msn] me whats it about
i find it faintly amusing:)

2007-11-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

human relations

circumstances make you closer
plus you realise the person makes a really great friend
so you become good friends who enjoy each other's company

but things arent always so straightforward
and sometimes it seems more appropriate to hold back a little
plus time scale plays a certain part too
i believe such caution would be beneficial for the long run

and for those who are speculating..
it has nothing to do with a guy
you have my word

2007-11-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

my busy weekend

-g3 phase 1 retreat
has alot of fun and laughter
phase 1 is over:(
i'll miss my team mates and mentor
and now its just to confirm my attendance for phase 2

-youth com meeting the next morning
SE, WW and i went for it together feeling all sleep deprived
it was a mighty long meeting
but it wasnt that bad lah..just that some people are so long winded

-church 110th anniversary service
i rushed home at 3[50m away from our meeting location:)]
bathed, dressed up and flew out of the house again
couple of us cabbed there together
reached spore conference hall
and the service was soooo celebratory:)
the tambourine dancers were really good!
although i confess i dozed a little during the sermon [too tired lah]

-110th anniversary dinner
98 tables in all
it was like a massive wedding dinner of some sorts
we kids were having a time of our lives visiting various tables:)
but truely God has been very good to fmc the past many many years

2007-11-09T19:42:00.000+08:00

thanks lah...

was folding clothes with my brother.
we talking abt random stuff.
i made a comment abt a friend of his.

me: she ah..not as simple [as in good girl] as she looks
he:aiyah..she wants attention lah. she is the second child you know
me: i am a 2nd child too what!! i am not like that
he: aiyah..you are a different 2nd child. you are a OLD generation 2nd child leh
[emphasis mine]

hmmph..

2007-11-08T14:42:00.000+08:00

i survived:)

yup i survived night cycling:)
quite big a deal considering i havent exercised in ages
although im paying for it with aches in places i never realised existed
and a very extremely sore bottom

-route [as i remember it]
east coast park to indoor stadium
indoor stadium to some random park to play candle war
park to kallang riverside park connectors
and on to 1 fullerton [for a toilet break]
1 fullerton to s-m-u kopitiam [for supper]
and back to ECP via a rather large detour with rest stops

we started at abt 11pm and ended past 430am
reached home at 5 plus,bathed and i slept at around 6
woke up at abt 1140am [another first for me!]

there is a certain exhilaration cycling on the roads
with the starts at the traffic lights and cycling diagonally across lanes
plus cars were relatively sparse
but it could get very scary at times too
there were moments when seriously its a miracle we were unhurt
well..most of us somehow believed we owned the roads i guess:)

its was quite tiring
and my muscles were cramping up from the sudden increase in use
plus actions such as straining on tip-toe while waiting - cross roads and stuff
thank God for kerbs:) although trying to cycle down them is really nasty
i nearly flew off the bike when i tried to do it and since learnt my lesson
the final leg of the route was quite mental for me already
but i guess it was a case of 'just keep moving'
and erm..lots of praying - "God..help me survive this!"

i am rather pleased with how my group turned out
and how we did have fun and some camaraderie was there
but its interesting that although night cycling is largely a group activity
most of the time you are actually alone
so i spent quite a bit of time thinking and analysing stuff
although most havent been cast in stone yet

at least its something i know now that i can do:)

2007-11-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

in the nutshell

The most destructive habit....... ........ ......Worry
The greatest Joy......... ........ ........ ....Giving
The greatest loss........ .......Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work........ ......Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .....Selfishness
The most endangered species..... ...Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... ........ ..Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"........ ..Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ........ ....Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........ Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease..... .......Excuses
The most powerful force in life........ ......... .Love
The most dangerous pariah...... ........ ...A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer.... ....The brain
The worst thing to be without..... ........ ..... Hope
The deadliest weapon...... ........ .......The tongue
The two most power filled words....... ........"I Can"
The greatest asset....... ........ ........ .....Faith
The most worthless emotion..... ........ ....Self- pity
The most beautiful attire...... ........ .......SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ........ .....Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ....Prayer
The most contagious spirit...... ........ ..Enthusiasm
The most important person in life........ ......... .the Almighty GOD

chanced upon this one someone's blog
and well..if we remember all that
i think life will really be alot simpler

2007-11-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

big family dinner

a livewire of a cousin-in-law
and a budding stand-up comedian of a nephew [with an eternal love for ducks]
makes for very good dinner entertainment:)

toilet adventures for the day helped too
and my brother had to play escort for his sisters
we walk, at a certain point "ok, hold your breath now" and we walk more
process is repeated on the return leg of the epic journey

we 3 girls played big-girl dress up for the event
basically agnes dug up nice clothes from her HUGE supply for us
and proclaimed us worthy of public viewing
we ended up a tad overdressed but who cares?

the birthday boy turns 67 today:)

i would love to include a really funny conversation
but there were just too many and too complicated to reproduce
so a very tiny snippet:)
*K's love for ducks was blurted out to us by his granddad
someone: so K, since you like ducks, you must like donald duck right
K: *with a look of disgust* nooo...he's so bad tempered!

2007-11-02T15:38:00.000+08:00

speech patterns

one of my great faults is that of speaking too fast
i rattle off like a train especially when im excited
friends and family are largely tuned to processing my words faster
but if im talking to a stranger and i forget to slow down..
the person usually has to ask me to repeat myself

and if that isnt bad enough
i have been having a cold the past week
which equals to a stuffed up nose and a sore throat

and which means i now speak too fast with a slightly hoarse and nasal voice
the perfect recipe for not being understood at all

2007-10-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

my facebook vice part 2

its still going strong
i can spend hours playing it
and cos each game is only 3 mins you dun realise how much time is spent
this is not good *shakes head*

how to study like that!?

2007-10-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

my facebook vice

its not adding every remote person i know as a friend
you know relations such your p3 classmate's sister bestfriend
whom you met once 10 years ago

its not adding every application i come across
i really cannot see the whats the craze about it
plus the clutter it creates is rather irritating

its not superpoking all friends to get more actions at higher levels
i occasionally poke others back but it ain't a full time job at all
although the new actions are quite interesting

and so whats my current lure into facebook?
boggle [bogglific is the name]
yes, thats my facebook vice:)

2007-10-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

biblequiz master perks

1. you get to know all the answers to the questions

2. you get to watch the siblings scramble to memorise verses/read books

3. and get to refuse to give them any clues citing fairness:)

though..
co-preparing the questions were really quite tough
but S and i had a lot of fun doing it:)

2007-10-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

all bad things come to an end too

the school week has ended:)

it was really by His's grace that i made it through
that alot of us made it through:)

2007-10-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

a tough question

-preamble-
i walked with P from the lt to the earth lab [yes..for a geog tutorial]. we talked random things along the way till we reached the lab. the earlier class wasnt done yet so we were just standing outside. i saw another geog friend and well..called out J**** W*** and had some small talk. then P with a rather pensive face asked "are you an extroverted or introverted person?" i dunno if the series of events had anything to do with the question though.

to which i must say is a very tough question and has actually been something i have been thinking about.

-attempt at giving an answer-
for the longest time, my answer to that question would definitely be that im an extrovert. since young, i have been known to like talking to older people [and not be afraid], enjoy talking in general and be confident about it. various personality tests confirmed/reinforced it through the years.

but perhaps cos im older and thus more aware of more things, i have started wondering if my "sanguine-ness" has been diminishing. its because of certain erm..trends i have been noticing.

- if im in a crowd of strangers/people i am not close to, i tend to shut up. this is especially so if they are getting along perfectly fine as they are and/or i have certain preconceived ideas about the group. i cannot pretend to be all chummy with them and talk.

- i am not a good "new friend" maker - i dun like talking to those of whom i have zero knowledge of. partly cos i find it quite fake esp if the person pretends to know me very well. and also cos awkward pauses are called awkward for a reason. this said, if i have to, i can and will take the first step to talk to a person i dun know. this is especially so if i can tell that the person is even more apprehensive abt things than me, or if i am in a position which requires it.

- i just ain't as noisy/ready to talk as in the past lah. i have mellowed down quite a bit i think

but then, thinking of myself as an introverted person doesnt quite cut the bill either. i am hardly what you will call a shy person in any case. im too opininated and ready with words to qualify under that category i think. and i know that if my surroundings are too quiet for too long i get a bit uneasy. unless its home when i want to recharge away from any external stimuli. but largely, to a certain extent, i thrive on being actively engaged [making good noise]. perhaps these things that i refer to are but stereotypes that i assumed introverts do not exhibit but oh well..

-and so the conclusion of the matter-
i cant really place myself in a category anymore. im somewhere in between both ends. sometimes i wonder if i have always been this although somehow i managed to convince myself that i was well and truly extroverted. down with personality tests! although, i am quite good talking [crap or serious stuff] with people i know relatively well and im comfortable with. perhaps its a trust issue on a certain level? shall leave it for another blog post for the future.

yes, i would never be the kind who instantly knows everyone nor the person who says all the funny things. but it doesnt matter. i just thank God for providing enough friends in every season of my life, and the few who would probably be "evergreen". He just knows lah:)

2007-10-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

put off

had to watch a film for nature and soc today
its the most disgusting thing ever filmed
its scary..the depth of sadism humans are capable of
the methods of killing the animals for food are just so EVIL
and we havent finished watching it yet!
i spent 1/3 of the show looking somewhere else instead of the screen

and it seems that the only way to stop one's involvement in the whole cycle
is to be a vegetarian..
i cant give up eating meat yet for sure
but i think im definitely eating less

its true that the film has its set of biases and what-nots
and it was probably aimed to shock the living daylights out of the viewers
[and maybe straight into vegetarianism?]
but the entire thing really brought home one point..
mankind is well and truely fallen

****

i have been blog surfing a couple of blogs
seems like my above response is rather common
thought some indeed were unable to stomach meat already
[edit 18/10]

2007-10-15T10:52:00.000+08:00

the 1am syndrome

plus a dim room which is really quite comfortable
makes you spill your deepest, darkest secrets
and/or, realise that you could be hormonally deficient:(

we talked about alot of random things some of which were startling

its amazing, our own abilites to keep issues to ourselves

which of cos get dug up during a time such as this:)

2007-10-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

required of me

And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
micah 6:8b

and thank God for the nature and soc test
it was much better than i dared expect:)

2007-10-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

a tale of 2 mountains

they were HUGE and looked indestructable.

but we courageously attacked them slowly but surely
signs of weathering and erosion taking place.
one started getting shorter and the other thinner

fully weathered into 2 pools of syrup and water

guess they weren't as mighty as they looked:)

3 out of 5 of the gallant warriors

visibly tired from the battleand the one who captured the victory on "film"

too bad a photo of the commander was unavailable at press time

2007-10-07T22:15:00.000+08:00

a good working relationship

*between my brother and i

as directly translated from the chinese saying:
if you have the money, provide it
if you have the strength [if you have no money] provide it

its works quite fine i must say:)

2007-10-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

itchy fingers

people who take lectures with me will know i have a quirk
i have to play with the pen im holding
i would either spin, twirl or run it through my fingers while listening
if i dun have something to play with, i'll get quite restless

BUT with such small lecture tables and a hand that isnt so deft yet
the pen keeps slipping and rolling off the table
which is just about the most embarrassing thing that can happen
esp if the pen bounces and freefalls down to the row below
and a kind soul needs to rescue it for me

2007-10-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

funny conversations

1. a grave insult

*i wore my jc class tee/jersey to my grandparents place
7 year old cousin: why your shirt has your name?
me: because its my class t-shirt, we printed our names behind.
she: your university class ah?
me: no..my jc..junior college class
she: wah! then you can STILL fit in it??

2. yes, teddy bears laugh too

me: dot dot dot..line line line [a tickling game i learnt from BA and taught my cousins]
4 year old cousin: we play this at home also you know
me: really? you all do on each other?
she: yahhh and we do on our teddy bear also
me: really ah? haha..the bear got laugh or not?
she: YAHHHH [i think if she knew "duh" she would have used it]

3. it isnt much use to tell, but who cares?

*in hay dairies for my nature and soc fieldtrip report
a little boy was having fun feeding the goats when one bit at his hair
him to dad: hey! the goat bite my hair!!
him to goat: why you bite my hair?? cannot bite lah!!

2007-09-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

like a child again

my retiree neighbours on the right side have always been really nice
we dun know each other very well
but if we meet each other outside our gates, small talk is always made
stuff like my elder sis, where we are studying now, what they are doing..
they are nice people to know:)

but recently [year plus], the wife has been dignosed with dementia
we saw her putting on weight and not be as active as in the past
but never realised it till the husband told my mom
and it was like "ok..rather sad lah"

and i never realised the reality/extent of it till today
they often park their car along the road opposite their house
and so..they have to cross the road to get to the house
today, the wife walked to the centre of the road and stopped suddenly
i believe she just couldnt remember what she was doing
because there was a blank look on her face and her eyes showed worry
she stood there till her daughter [in-law?] came to lead her back
the relief of "being rescued" was so evident on her face

i happened to watch it all from my car porch
was rather stunned by it
but really..she is just like a child again

2007-09-27T19:52:00.000+08:00

the serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

for all my usual positive disposition
this sem's projects are not so good
and i know that this thought has translated into being really "sian" abt stuff
to a point where i dun want to be bothered any more

but enough of being mopey and slackly
there's plenty of work to be done

2007-09-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

as constant as the north star

*was asked this question during g3 bs today
in [say] 5 years time
will the convictions i hold on to now still remain unchanged?

*and i thought of something new to add on
if they do change, is the change for the better?

tough question[s] to answer dont you think

2007-09-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

moving "house"

step 1: shopping spree at IKEA

an outing that lasted abt 4 hours
and left my dad's pockets rather light
3 tables, 2 book shelves, 1 chair and several smaller items
plus lunch at the in-house cafe

step 2: be at home when the deliverymen arrive

the bright yellow truck stopped outside the house
and the guy brought everything in one by one
half the dining room space has been taken up
and they will remain in this way till we are back from malaysia

step 3: use an afternoon to clear out the huge pile in the wadrobe

finally got my lazy butt doing it a few days ago
its the starting thats the hardest, after all you just get so caught up with it
dug out everything and seperated into piles - trash, give away, keep
had 2 bags of trash, 1 bag to give away and half the original amount left

step 4: clear out the garbage dump of a table

i did it in stages over a very long time
generated about 6 bags of trash [most were old school worksheets and stuff]
i once again confirm my secret life of being a pack-rat
at the end..nothing was left inside - things to keep were transferred away

step 5: have the movers over to do their thing

they removed the 5 tables in the study room plus other smaller items
and helped to move around some furniture my mom still wants to keep
now the study room seems so..big.. and the green walls a little too bright
still trying to get used to it but i'll manage fine

step 6: get down and dirty

the 5 of us spent the entire afternoon playing "muscial chairs"
beds moved down and around. piles of papers and such laid all around
layers of petrified dust unearthed in places that havent seen light in 83714 years
and so much trash was generated it was horror film worthy

step 7: local migration completed

in my "new" room [space is a more accurate word] updating this
this room hasnt been used as a bedroom since approx yup 13 years ago
there are still things to finish up - clothes and non-school books are still upstairs
it was nearly too much excitment to bear but its a goood change

step 8: and we decided we werent quite done yet..

plus agnes had to do her round of ikea shopping too for her room
the size of the tampines outlet makes it such a shopping expedition
bought several odds and ends to better furnish the other 3 rooms
the HUGE warehouse-like portion at the end is seriously scary

*now hopefully finally done
posts/steps done over the may to sept months

2007-09-21T21:17:00.001+08:00

a visual guide to putting on the amour of God

model: lego knight given by ms kwok during grad day in 2005

camera: esther's phone with the snazzy auto-focus and all that jazz

director: yours truly, while having some fun with it:)

stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist

with the breastplate of righteousness in place and
your feet fitted with the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace

in addition to this, take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one

take the helmet of salvation

and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God
eph 6:14-17

2007-09-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

4 years

yup..4 long years and during that time

- i have finished pl, finished ny and somewhat surviving in nus
- my brother has grown to become the tallest in the family
- various members have gone through a few medical dramas
- i had the opportunity to fly to the UK twice
- agnes visited way to many countries
- we learnt have long conversations over msn or the phone
- i read bits of her thesis where 1 chapter is longer than any paper i have written
- my dad changed a couple of jobs
- esther moved to stay weeknights in hall in ntu
amongst others which are too many to count

we have all grown older, expanded our knowledge of the world
and hopefully grown wiser in our own little ways
i know we can testify that God has been very good to all of us
watching over the 5 of us here and the 1 of her there

in 24hrs agnes will be back for good [as of now at least]
i wonder what differences there would have been if she stayed in spore
but those arent so important
cos i think the last 4 years had been darn great for her
and it wasnt bad for us either:)

and actually the 4 years didnt feel very long for most part of it

2007-09-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

age is no small matter

*family gathering with my dad's side. im talking to 2 of my nieces who are 8 years old. theywere telling me about their busy weekly schedules of tuition, piano classes, ballets classes...you get the picture.

me: hmm..you know what..i have school on 3 days a week only
G and L: wow...what days are they? sooo gooooddd
me: tuesday, wednesday and thursday
G: *drops voice a notch* did you tell your mother abt it?
me: !?!? hahahaha:)

2007-09-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

ode to a study room

after abt 13 years of good service
the study room of my home is about to retire
for those who have been here before..
its the room filled with tables lining every wall

my memory of using this room for studying goes as far back as pri 1
i have sat at different locations over the years [we switched around previously]
and went through maybe 3-4 tables
though my current one is more or less just storage space
cos i very much prefer the bigger marble table also in the room
its sad to see it all gone in a couple of days

i welcome the change and im pretty excited about it
but cant help but feel a sense of loss..
something that has been such an intregral part of our life is going to be gone
my brother doesnt seem to care
so maybe im a sentimentalist at heart after all

2007-09-07T16:16:00.000+08:00

superkids [minus 1]

we were not the target group for the day neither are we still classified as kids

but we are still kids to 2 super people

and superkids to 1 super duper Father

2007-09-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

making lemonade out of lemons

i have a geog module's tutorial i am taking alone
so i go in and have to find people to form a project group
and so i did, with the nice-looking people around me
of which 2 out of 6 are former PL girls too

all was well..

till i realised that none of them are geog majors
they arent arts people in the first place!
on finding that out i nearly jumped out of my seat lah
my first thought was "crap..this project sure die"
and its the first time im actually stressed over a project
and that im just going to more or less take charge of things
usually i have more kiasu friends to do that
and i gladly let them do it:)

i am not sure how things are going to turn out for us
i want to do well for the project although conditions arent ideal
but they are nice people so i hope things will go on fine
after we get pass the initial "quiet-and-stare-at-each-other" phase

so everyone pray for me yah
that i will look beyond what they do not know [plus the grades]
and enjoy my project with them
things will probably be a little tough here and there
but well..i know God's in control:)

2007-09-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

officially an nus student again

finally got my replacement matric card today:)
cos of some not so clear instructions on the website
after abt a month of telling the libarians to open the gantry for me
and not having the card to borrow books from the RBR..

i now know that little piece of plastic has so much power

2007-09-03T10:10:00.000+08:00

God rocks

if last sunday saw me significantly down in the dumps
then yesterday was a really wonderful day:)
for once i was really happy to be address "ms lim"
in church no less

2007-08-31T11:24:00.000+08:00

backfire

*was visiting a couple of jc friends' blogs and stumbled across some stuff. and that was something that has been somewhat on my mind for a while too.

-the context-
J recently [since the start of the year] became a christian. and very ideally, he has indeed transformed from a pseudo "ah-beng" who sprouts uncouth vocabulary on a rather regular basis to an active church member. so his blog reflected the change as well - from being %&*!$ ridden to one that predominately talks of what is generally termed "christianly/religious" stuff. well..that is something good to happen. by and large, minus some minute reservations, i am pleased to see such a thing happening.

T then wrote about how he has since then been increasingly been turned-off by the contents of J's blog. he commented that J's blog is now classified into the category of "christian blogs" which is also more or less the blogs he do not visit. i wonder if he is just unused to such content from the psuedo "ah beng" or maybe T is just "anti-christian" [to use the phrase loosely] but this is the catalyst to this post.

-my thoughts-
i know J blogs all the christian topics to basically share with others what he has learnt, albeit in an extremely "in-your-face" manner. his eagerness is evident in the posts and should be commended. but clearly while the intention is good, it is showing some signs of backfiring. people are getting put off by all the verse quoting and all that jazz. so..in a very unfortunate way, the people that J is trying to witness to are being repulsed.

and so begets the question of how should a christian blog? should the person just blog relentless despite the fact that it is backfiring simply because it is right to have such fervour for God? or should the person suit the tastes of masses by just not blogging about such things - behaving like any other blog in cyberspace.

personally for myself, i started this blog with the conscious goal of using it to share about my faith and walk - not just a daily rundown of events. i stay very clear from rants and raves and the generally known b*tching. i have a number of posts where i blog about issues, though i have to admit they have decreased over the last year. these days the posts are less often written with the sole purpose of sharing my thoughts as a christian about an issue. but i still make sure to have a christian "presence" in what i do write and what i do not write. not just because i am a christian and therefore i have to mention certain things but because my faith does form an intergral part of my identity. but according to my friends, mine aint in that category [i havent figured out if its actually a good thing or not]

i feel sorry for J who is perhaps a victim of his enthusiasm. yet this serves as a sober reminder that we cannot witness to our friends by forcing doctrine down their throats and expecting them to swallow it willingly. its easy to just take on a judgmental and 'holy' attitude when discussing a myriad of issues but that clearly does not sit very well with people. i am convinced that there indeed has to be a difference between a practising christian and one who isnt, and its inevitable that blogs would reflect this. but at the same time there is a fine line between stating a stand with humility as compared to adopting a judging, and perhaps arrogant, tone.

Christ himself was very clear about the message that he was bringing to the world. and he never lost his purpose nor minced his words with the pharisees. he spoke hard truths and also exposed the hypocrisy of the religious leaders. yet at the same time, the story of a just God who loved the world so much was communicated to the world with sensitivity and grace. Christ didnt just quote scripture endlessly although im very sure he could, he demostrated the truth through stories and actions. but most importantly, the message was never lost despite the seeming dilutedness of it. i think we could pick up a couple of pointers from the man himself.

i still constantly try to reconcile my faith as a christian, the need to witness to the people around and the best way to do it. its easy to conclude that there needs to be a balance but how do we do it? im still figuring out as i blog along. i just remember that its the walk and the life i seek to write about. i may not blog about christian things all the time but this will still be a reflection of the life that i live in Christ who died that i may live.

2007-08-28T20:43:00.000+08:00

to the woman..

whom i get my good [hopefully!] looks from, and
whom i realise i am more alike than i want to admit

blessed birthday:)

2007-08-27T19:49:00.000+08:00

liar liar pants on fire

my brother has such a ready tongue for lying that its scary
but terribly funny too

dad, brother and i in the kitchen
dad: eh..do we have wrapper [wrapping paper] at home?
me: huh? need that for what?
brother: *dagger eyes" for mummy's birthday tomorrow lah!
me: oh yah..oops [i do know its her birthday tmr]
brother: anyway..dun have anymore wrapper already
dad: hmm..where can i buy..

mum walks down the stairs into the kitchen
mum: *to us* what does papa need to buy? *to my dad* what do you need?
dad: ohh..erm..nothing. nevermind..
brother: *in the most natural voice* papa needs to buy parking coupons.
brother: papa needs to go to a petrol station to buy somemore
dad: yah..tmr im going in the CBD. if im parking there sure need alot.
mum: ok. quickly lets go [she attends BSF on monday nights]

if my parents know how easily this little boy lies
they would be very very worried
but then again, my dad apparently isnt any much better right:)

2007-08-26T16:18:00.000+08:00

when even a talker needs some quiet

i was really bothered by something i heard today
as in bothered enough to feel sad and need to brood over it

so i did something i havent done in the last 3 years or so
i purposely took the train to serangoon station after church
and walked home slowly from there
i slowed down even further by taking a significant detour home
all the small windy roads instead of the straight main road
it took me abt 40 mins to reach my house
i just didnt feel like going home and having to talk abt it

i havent done thinking/wondering yet
but something did come out of it
"sometimes people just don't make sense"

and perhaps the question
"God, why like that?"

2007-08-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

what makes me tick?

*what am i passionate about? was asked this question last week during vcf and my lack of a ready answer kinda got me thinking..

i could try to be really funny and answer..
irritating the pants off my brother

i could try to be serious and answer
punctuality. serious..i've blogged about it before

i could try to be faintly philisophical and answer
learning abt the minute details that makes life what it is

i could try to be really safe but boring and answer
geography. but i know it isnt true and esp knowing what a geog fanatic is like

i could try and be all-christianly and answer
God and serving others. but if feels like im not really telling the truth

and so i just came up with a lame answer abt making people happy
but im not really satisfied with that
its true but yet not quite [i hardly go all out to make people happy]

*random bit of rambling on*
i feel a little inept that there isnt something im passionate about. as in i dun love anything enough to petition for it, to talk endlessly abt it, to basically live and breathe it. 'passion' has been marketed as something you should have to make you a better/happier person because of all the "feeling-feeling" involved. and besides that, when you get to know that someone is hopelessly passionate abt something, doesnt your mind go "wow..thats so cool" at least that happens to me..

there are many things i enjoy and love [good blogpost topic] but i dont think anything qualifies as a 'passion'. but heck, im still a happy person:) much as i would really like to "boast" abt an ardent love for something, i know that it doesnt make me any less than anyone else. its a non-essential but nice-to-have?

as for that question. i still dun have a good answer to give but at least i have more or less made peace about. thats what that matters isnt it?

2007-08-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

this is my Father's world

i was trying to complete a reading on H2O for geog
it had plenty of details like the bipolarity of a water molecule, hydrogen bonding..
stuff that needs quite a bit of brain power to absorb properly
so i was attempting to plough through the entire thing

and then i had a epiphany:)

God is super duper brilliant!
just find out abt the water He created for our planet
*i could loan you the reading if you want:)

i always took for granted its existence and uses
but reading abt its unique properties
i just had to marvel at the creativity and genius of the Creator
everything has been so intricately engineered together
its so.. "woowww"

of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.

2007-08-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

night[s] out

been coming home late the past couple of nights again
cos school isnt back in full force yet it wasnt so bad [no early lessons]
but cant do it again once tutorials and thus the long days start

weds and thurs were cos of vcf stuff
welcome tea was on weds
i helped to prepare sandwiches - egg and luncheon meat
and i always thought it was a common filling to use, apparently not..

kumuthan: hey esotericmind, you made some really esoteric sandwiches today
me: really? you havent eaten this kind before?
debs: *lifting up the bread and peering inside* wow..its really esoteric!
[yes..im known as the "esotericmind" in vcf cos of my email address]
*and just check out what "esoteric" means yourself

first cg session of this year on thurs
no freshmen came for it so it was all the old foggies
had a time of games and sharing and praying for the sem
we ended really late again [reached home at 11]

today
went for a play with the ny people
well..our teeacher offered it to us and we just went
we being batty, naviros and myself [cos a certain *coughjerrycough* pangseh-ed us]
i'll rate my enjoyment of the play at maybe 6/10
cos i couldnt really catch a significant amount of lines
though some parts were funny enough

there was a cool thing though
ny has somehow nutured a wonderful relationship with SRT this year
and the students are really benefiting from it
there was a session with the set designer
and a tour of the lights control room and other interesting places
if only we [my batch] had that in the past
but we turned out fine still right:)

we were finally [tactfully] told to leave cos they had to clear up at 1030
ms kwok attempted to shoo the current kids home..
before we [3 of us plus her and ms victor] left for drinks
ah..the pleasure of age:)
but the entire clark quay was packed to the brim, it being a friday night
so we winded up at tcc
spent an hour plus there just chatting and enjoying ourselves
and ms kwok has some pretty great plans for drama club:)
bus-sed home with ms kwok and batty
and finally reached home at abt 1240
and i actually walked home from the bus stop [abt 10 mins away]
usually my parents would avoid having us do that cos its a little dodgey

after so many [to me at least] nights out
no wonder i feel tired just after the first week of school

2007-08-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

the nature of [sms] language

my mom is more adept at sms-ing than me!

as it goes:
U 4got 2 take e tuna puff in e oven 4 brkfast

when i read it, i was like "whoa..i have one funky mama!" [okay..i didnt really think that]. my mom is the kind that gets us to reply her smses if we are around cos she thinks she is too slow. so wonder how did she practice sms-ing. must be secret smses to my dad without us knowing:)

*and for the record, i didnt forget to eat the tuna puff, i didnt feel like eating it so i ate the previous day's bread instead.

2007-08-13T12:52:00.000+08:00

year 2 sem 1

3 day week this time [tues to thurs]
but it means a terrible timetable
on average abt 5 to 6 hrs per day
see if i can "tahan" it for this sem

modules for this sem
EL1101E: the nature of language
LSM1301: general biology
GE2204: cities in transition
GE2219: climate, water and environment
GE2221: nature and society

as usual there will be projects to do and essays to write
but i just pray i will enjoy this sem
and that i will never lose sight of Who i ultimately need to honour

2007-08-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

listening

a friend called and said she needed to talk
i said "ok, let me go to the phone upstairs"
she was crying while she was recounting everything
i listened, a little unused to her emotions
but i started talking a little too soon

i have realised that im too quick to "troubleshoot". as in when someone shares with me something, i'll be really quick to go "maybe you could do this..." or "so..maybe you make it better by..". i wonder if it drives the people nuts, cos knowing that i always inevitably do it makes me feel bad. as in my friend calls for me to listen to her and yet she ends up being forced to listen to me instead. i try to reduce it but the opiniated one in me just shoots off most of the time once the talker tells me something that i do not agree with. and i end up feeling rather inconsiderate abt it.

sigh.

i really need to learn to just be there. to listen.

2007-08-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

national day festivities for me

-wednesday
i went back to the kindy for their celebrations
i told them i would, i wanted to join them and i needed to collect my pay:)
the kids looked so cute in their red and white ensembles
well..the teachers too [i was the only one in dark red and jeans]
and they finally have a new nursery english teacher:)

simple national day celebrations for them
national anthem and the pledge before all were herded into the room
the various classes performed their pieces
and they were so cute lah
despite all the wrong timings and wrong actions
then there was games for the kids
i wonder what was more fun, the playing or watching the teachers compete
i'll go with the teachers competing myself
it was super hillarious lah

and this marks my last day in the kindergarten again
i [or my sis i think] dun plan to go back next year
have other things that we want/need to do
the kids were still excited to see me on weds [cos they still remember]
by 2 months later, i guess it will be erased already

-thursday
nothing really fantastic
had a nice family lunch at a cafe cartel
cos esther and i received our wages so a lunch treat was in order
and the rest of the family havent tried the place before
we finished totally stuffed
did some shopping before heading home for a lazy afternoon

dinner was cooked at home
we were going to watch the parade while eating
but the livin room tv wasnt working so everything was brought upstairs
and laid out in my parents room buffet style
it was quite a funny sight:)
watched the parade and i think it was rather good
the navy really pulled out all the stops for their segment of glory
things were a little cheesy at times but its part and parcel of the ndp i guess
the fireworks were really extravagant this year too

i think we all can agree that singapore has been really blessed
in that we have a safe environment to live it
and we get educated quite well:)
just pray that our leaders will continue to make wise decisions
and never compromise on the moral standards of the society

2007-08-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

humor and the banality of life

1. my house's water meter wasnt working since march. and the people didnt do anything till 2 days ago. so technically our household didnt use any water for 4 months. something really hard to imagine since my brother can bathe up to 4 times a day and i wash my hands with soap at the slightest thing.

2. i brought a box of ricola strawberry sweets for my tuition kids to enjoy today. joy [my partner] entered the room and went "why does this room smell of strawberries". tuition kid showed her the box. and she continued "you know..it smells of rubber". i choose to believe that its cos of the invisible chemical reaction between the scent of the sweets, stench of carpet and the musty smell of the room itself.

3. my cousin, whom i was in a meeting in PS's macs, wanted to go shopping after the meeting. i told her i could spend 10 mins with her. to which she reduced her voice to a whisper and went "i need to buy br*" at that moment..o_0 was my face. and yes i did spend the 10 mins with her and yes again we went looking around for what she wanted.

4. carrefour has the tallest plastic wastepaper bins ever. they must be some 5cm taller than usual varieties. and on top of that..the dustiest.

2007-08-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

the last 2 days sans working

- helped around the house [general household chores]
- wasted alot of time at the TSPC rehearsal
- got irritated at many things and the TSPC in general
- bought a new autobiography on impulse
- got hooked on the new book
- went for an art exhitbition
- enjoyed myself there:)
- returned some books at the national lib
- brought erica to tea bone zen mind
- had my usual of a peach tea and a tea egg [on behalf of py too]
- visited popular to get new assessment books for my tuition class
- finished my book [planning to blog abt it]
- thought abt the kids back in the kindergarten
- look at the clock and go "they are finishing school already" etc

as contrasted to this

2007-07-31T15:20:00.000+08:00

goodbye goodbye, may God bless you

i ended my last day at the kindergarten today. i [fine..my sis and i] decided to be really nice to the staff of BA and got them some begawann[spelling?] solo keuh. well..technically its my mom cos she very generously bought them on our behalf and took a cab to send the boxes to me:) we are going to pay her back i assure you.

going to back to a previous job isnt as easy at it seems. i enjoyed the kids just as much but somehow the job got a little boring after a while. maybe its a case of familarity breeding contempt but there were instances when i just couldnt wait for the days to pass. i couldnt[and still cant] quite put my finger on why so but i suspect that its the liminal nature of the work - working but not quite. in that im physically working yet it isnt hard and my mind isnt being used enough. for lack of a better way to put it, i got a little bored.

i will miss the kids most, even the ones that make me so mad. and it isnt because i do not have a trained tolerance for nonsense cos some teachers do come very close to pulling their hair out too. i miss the few seconds of each day when i take the temperature of the kids and say good morning to them. i will miss getting free hugs.i will miss the conversations and funny little things 4 year-olds do. i will miss seeing the tangible benefits a school brings to a child. i will miss the teachers and my moments of marvelling at their dedication to the kids. i will even miss some of the parents.

yet..i do not feel as sad, compared to last year, to leave. to an extent it could be due to the fact that a part of me could not wait to leave. but i guess that it really because i have someone now to share memories with. my sis and i can sometimes just talk some time, telling each other the funny little stories about the class. we remember together, even the sobering fact that the kids would not remember us for long.

my take home lesson from the last couple of months - the process of growing up is not something to be taken for granted. the element of nurturing and training is so crucial to a child's development as a person. witnessing the improvement of a few children brings meaning into what you are doing. and hence i leave the kindergarten again with an even deeper appreciation for early childhood teachers.

my prayer for all the little children would be that the 3/4 years in BA would give them a good start into the christian life. and that each would grow into a fine gentleman or lady whose faith in the Lord is solid.

will i one day enter early childhood education? i do not know. i know that i have the heart for children and we shall go as the Lord leads:)

2007-07-29T21:18:00.000+08:00

and another turns 20

celebratory lunch at serangoon gardens 'sushi tei' yesterday
slice of cake from coffeebean

photos and editing courtesy of erica

blessed birthday bonnie:)

life has its hiccups

and the way is often tough to travel

but at least you have us to walk alongside with you

may God continue to be your source of hope and strength:)

2007-07-28T10:57:00.000+08:00

hot wheels

my daddy has a new toy:)
it isnt technically new cos its second-hand
but doesnt matter lah
it just better be worth the ruckus it caused

after abt 3 and a half years my family is back to an MPV
which for all practical purposes is so that all 6 of us can travel comfortably
for the initial ride i forgot that a MPV is higher compared to normal cars
and nearly tumbled out when alighting
the 3 of us at the back usually sit hip-to-hip in our sedan
in the new one..its like "whoa there is so much space"
and has a "basement boot" as we have affectionately termed it

the old car sadly has been parked outside the house the past couple of days
the sorry fate of having lost its position of being the "first love"
and according to my dad..it would be taken away on monday by the agent
cant help but feel a little sad

a tribute to the car that has served our family very well. with approx 119 000 km of mileage under its belt, its by far the most well-used car [ratio of length of use and distance travelled] that my dad has had. i'll miss the lovely colour which i help choose - by vehemently refusing the initial one my dad picked. i still remember the initial few rides when i would turn to the back and be mildly surprised that the car has ended already [no 3rd row of seats]. and of course..the huge boot which can comfortably accomodate all our bags when we travel up north. i hope it would serve its next owner [if it gets one] as well as it did us.

2007-07-26T16:23:00.000+08:00

changing parade

changing 20 soaked-to-the-bone kids is no joke
even with 4 teachers

the kids just LOVE waterplay
just mention it and their shoes and socks are ripped off
the aprons take a while longer cos some still cant figure how to wear it
then they would line up really quickly to go out

i sometimes wonder whats so fun abt it
its basically a water trough filled with water and various playthings
rubber duckies, floating toys and recycled mineral waterbottles
but they just have so much fun
some finish with wet sleeves [from reaching into the water]

but today..it was different lah
if i could play i would have had mighty fun too
the principal ms L wanted some cooking toys to be washed
so she killed 2 birds with one stone - kids wash the toys = waterplay
and so they did:) with a little soap squirted into the water
"see..i wash the plates like ka kak at home"
and since the water was soapy the stuff wouldnt be really clean
so a change of it was needed right
so ms L took out the water stoppers and the water started flowing out
and the kids went MAD from the sudden freeflow of water
they were sticking their feet under the the gush
squealing with delight at the sensation
[getting their shorts/pants wet]

ms L then filled up the troughs with clean water
and sometimes she really is like a big kid [said in a good way]
as in she really knows what kids would love and she gives it to them
so she started pretending to spray the kids from the hose
some ducked behind the trough, some used plates to "protect themselves"
most just screamed themselves silly while they got wet
it really looked like alot of fun

and by the end..
we had 20 wet ducklings
and the changing parade..
we had to do it according to level of wetness and possible parents complaints
[some parents are very finicky abt such "unhealthy things"]
we ran out of spare uniforms for the girls [15 girls in the class]
so i ran down to the pre-n class to take theirs
and it was all the small sizes which looked so tight and short on the bigger girls
that still wasnt enough so i had to go to the k1 class too
these were the bigger uniforms which somehow went to the smaller kids
aiyoh..but they looked so funny in them - sleeves until the elbow kind
in the end we switched between 2 girls cos the sizing was just too ridiculous

it was kinda fun actually
just that its something that cannot be done too often

2007-07-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

footprints from puddle splashing

rain the night before makes everything wet
and we don't like it very much

but something good comes out of it
seeing the kids run around the basketball court
and jumping into the shallow puddles
i wanted to take my shoes off too

2007-07-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

full circle

2 years ago
this was what i had to say
my thoughts at 18 years

2 years on
life's still wonderful even without the books and movies
maybe i would finally catch up on them next time
but currently..potter mania isnt for me
although if spoilers are posted on blogs i'll probably skim through
just that i've been so out of touch that it isnt interesting anymore

2007-07-21T21:58:00.000+08:00

if only i could..

i was going out for dinner at serangoon gardens
there was no one at home
AND the car was parked in the car porch

and what came to my mind..
"man..if only i could drive"

but i cant, so how else did i get there?
by my usual way lah

a 2 persons accidental "hot date" planned at 'friends'
turned into a 4 persons party at 'cafe cartel'
and a 35 min wait on my part for them
which i spent watching an episode of "friends" in video ezy
and which earned me a dinner treat:)
not a bad way to spend a free evening i must say

2007-07-21T11:54:00.000+08:00

my version of coffee joint reviews

i do taste tests on their ice-blended chocolate drinks and cheesecakes:)
well..someone has to drink something besides coffee

1. places where i've drunk ice chocolate
- coffee bean:) the 'pure chocolate ice-blend' is my fav pick-me-up anytime. there is abt a 6/10 chance i would buy a cup if i walk past a shop. there was a point in my life when i got rather addicted to them - drank them like at least once a week till i realised the damage its was doing to my pocket. the drink is thick and chocolately with a generous dose of whipped cream[oh the artery-clogging fats]. service is good across outlets and my only grouse is the recent increase in prices.

- TCC

- starbucks

- coffee club. between the 'ice chocolate' and the 'chocolate milkshake' i prefer the latter. its deliciously creamy with a scoop of chocolate ice cream to add to the decadence. this drink comes in as my favourite treat when im in the mood for spending money. it isnt that expensive but the whole sitting down in a cafe place plus a customary slice of cheesecake [more abt it later] ups the whole "fake tai tai - fai fai?" factor.

-coffeeclub express. the coco freeze rivals that of coffeebean although its more cocoa-ly - nosebleed inducing 'heatiness'. perhaps the only outlet remianing [rest have been converted to coffeeclub cafes] is in nus which serves cheaper and hence substandard versions of the drink. so i usually buy only if i really need a cuppa to perk the day/fill the tummy before heading home.

-gloria jean's

-gelare

2. cheesecake places
-coffeebean

-gelare.

-gloria jean's. its uber big a slice at $5.50 each making it rather reasonably priced. really cheesy - as in real creamy cheesy. slightly weird cirtus tasting base that has somesort of gelatinous jelly infused in it. perhaps the only problem would be the fact that one finishes up being totally over-stuffed.

-coffeeclub. great great cheesecake there. i have it nearly everytime i visit an outlet. helped that for a while there was this great offer of "buy 1 cake and get the 2nd free". i visited various outlets a couple of times to enjoy it. but since then the offer is over and at 6 bucks per cake its rather expensive so i havent really been eating it since. indulgences are still as only as good as the money required to pay for them i guess

so there..my little version of a coffee joint review. items which have no short write-up basically means that there is nothing really much to write abt it - its normal and less fantastic compared to the others. and for the record..this post was inspired by erica when she laughed at me for having no appreciation for coffee although i visit coffee joints fairly often [averaging maybe once a month].

2007-07-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

wise words indeed

"your wallet is the most important thing when you leave the house
besides your handphone and your underwear."

and that came out of my brother
its so unbelievably stupid
and yet so true

2007-07-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

high stakes

you just know it when a VVIP and/or government body is involved in an event
the elaboratedness of the preparation goes off the charts
and it leaves me wondering if its really all that necessary

i guess they think it is
and im sore abt the insane reporting time of 840am for a 3pm ceremony

2007-07-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

1 and 1 makes 2

and thats 2 years of blogging already
with 346 posts to date
i wonder how many words there are..

2007-07-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

i so very nearly bought something

2 things in fact

but currently not enough excess liquidity for the first
and unacceptable sewing for the second

je suis un peu triste
esp since my mom was more than happy to pay for the second item

i would write up a shopping list and paste it on the blog
but i cant see any use except to fuel my desire to be spending unhealthily
so none here